The Goal

The goal of parenting is to have kids who love Christ.

The goal of the Christian life is dependence on God.

He answered: "'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind'; and, 'Love your neighbor as yourself.'" Luke 10:27

I know that I must turn over my will to God. I have learned to live like this. Constantly turning my will over but then taking it back and thinking I am in control. Realizing again that I am not in control and turning it back over. Where I really struggle with this is with my children. I want to be in control. Not control as in obedience to rules (I don't have control of that either) but control of their friends, what they like, and what they are good at. Basically all of the things that define your personality. It's hard to let go and let them be who they are going to be. You assume, based on your interests and your spouse's, that your kids will like what you like. Guess what? They don't! I think before you have kids you have a vision of what their lives will look like and it's totally based on what you like. When I want my people to do things just because I like it and they are not enjoying themselves or struggling with something that was easy for me, it is hard not to be disappointed. Jason and I like the same things so shouldn't our kids like them too? Nope. Shouldn't they be good at the same things we do well? Nope. So when I want my kids to be something they aren't, I have to turn back to the ultimate goal. I want my kids to love God with all of their heart, soul, strength, and mind. The rest of the stuff is my will. But I still don't want to play Bakugans.

Along the same line from a wise Mama. On Different Priorities

Ten on Tuesday

1. Jay plays in the championship game tonight for Mighty league. I am way nervous. He is not nervous at all. Go Angels!!! (I am sad baseball season is ending. This year was a lot of fun for me. I became a screaming mom.)

2. LOST is over. I really liked the end but I had to think about it for a while before I could say that. I think you had to really "get" the show to appreciate the ending. I felt the same way about Seinfeld. If you didn't "get" the show you didn't like the ending.

3. I love playlist. It really helps me clean the house. If you could peek in my windows you would laugh. Cleaning to playlist is as close to a "club" as I am going to get so I make the most of it.

4. Music moves me. Literally. I can't help it. When Clocks came out, I looked like a freak driving/dancing. Of course that is only one example of a song that made me look like a freak. There are soooo many. (Betsy also has this problem but I guess she has the "dancer" thing to blame it on.) Note: You know I am playing that song right now and dancing. Home, home, where I wanted to go.

5. I think I take in-town family for granted. When I meet someone who moved here and doesn't know anyone or has no family here I am taken aback. In Macon I have 2 parents, 2 in-laws, 3 grandparents, 3 aunts and 3 uncles, 1 cousin, a brother and sister-in-law, a nephew, and a niece. It's a family reunion every time we get together.

6. I just bought a bunch of fabric to make a quilt. Ask me at the end of the summer to show it to you.

7. Facebook can be too much sometimes. Right?

8. Packy makes me laugh. If you knew him he would make you laugh too. Are 3 year olds supposed to cross their eyes already? He makes people at Kroger laugh with his non-stop talking. Talking, talking, talking.

9. I hate the Fresh Beat Band. Those kids are tools.

10. When I let go of my agenda and follow God's will, life is calmer. I may not always know exactly what God's will is, but I sure know when I'm not in it.

Friday Brunch Bread

So I really do like to cook. Partly because Jason likes to eat and I love it when he says, "This could be served in a nice restaurant." I love it because I think he really means it. It makes me feel like I am "good" at one aspect of my job as a housewife. (That statement could be interpreted in to a negative statement, but it's not. Don't read too far in to it. Let's just let it mean what it means.) So, brunch bread. It's Jamie Oliver's recipe. I made it two ways but I am only going to show you the pretty pictures. (I mean it is really pretty right?) The eggs are from my friend Allison's chickens (Did you know people in the city limits of Macon have chickens? They do!) and the basil is from my mom's garden. (The other ingredients are prosciutto, cheese, sun dried tomatoes, and rosemary.) The second "loaf" is the same bread with Nutella and toasted almonds. Does not photograph well but tastes so good. I could eat Nutella on just about anything! So Jason had a good lunch and that makes me happy!

Ten on Tuesday

1. My car is a wreck. Between ball and school it is just hard to keep up. *Note to self: Give the kids a bag and let THEM clean it out.

2. I have been working out at Cross Fit for about 3 weeks now. It is the best thing I have ever done. I feel great mentally and physically. Thanks Howard!

3. Every night Jason loads the dishwasher. He has a certain system which I always mess up. If I load stuff during the day, he rearranges it at night for maximum efficiency.

4. He also shuts my closet door every night before he goes to bed. My dad shut my closet door every night when I lived at home. Sorry guys, I just can't bring myself to shut it.

5. Over the past year I have learned how important my female friendships are to me. I have been lifted up, encouraged, challenged, and made to laugh by some amazing women. I never thought I was a girl's girl but now I recognize that I need these relationships because God designed us to be relational. I am always slow to learn the lesson.

6. I am a menu planner but have such a hard time with the planning process. The reason is that I am not a big eater. Eating is something I have to do not something I want to do so I have a hard time deciding what to cook for a week. I am talking about a couple pf hours sometimes to do a weeks worth of food.

7. I already have anxiety about summer. My kids are bored by day 2. I am starting to plan now. It's hard to live in the now and plan but I think both are necessary for summer vacation.

8. For Mother's Day Jason gave me a subscription to Everyday Food. He consulted my sister, which is always wise. I usually want whatever she has or like whatever she picks out. *Note: Although eating is not a top priority, I do like to cook.

9. Betsy is the best sister one could have. Wise beyond her years and so very funny. You might think you have a great sister but Betsy could beat your sister up.

10. Jason has some interesting talents. I will share more later. You will be amazed!

Weekend Fun

It is amazing how fast a week can go by and no blogging. I get antsy when the people I follow go a couple of days without a post. We are just in the end of school tornado. Jay's baseball team had an undefeated season and we start the playoffs tonight. So between baseball and wrapping up school we have been busy. But on Friday we did nothing. We played outside with our new fireman hose attachment, we ate at Ingleside Village pizza, we ate ice cream, we picked up leaves. We were together. Making memories. Living life. Thanking God.

Keep Doing Something

Red Sea Rule # 6: When unsure, just take the next logical step by faith.
(The Lord said to Moses, ‘Why do you cry to Me? Tell the children of Israel to go forward” (Exodus 14:15).
Popular 12 step slogan: Do the next right thing.

I love these! I tend to get overwhelmed. With my house, with my kids, with my life. I used to try to escape these problems by just not thinking about them. Ignoring them. Numbing my brain to not have to deal with big or little things in my life. Guess what? The problems were always still there and getting worse. The more overwhelmed, the more I numbed.

Today I still get overwhelmed. Life is still challenging in big ways and little ways. But today I know that I have the Lord's strength and not mine to deal with whatever comes my way. So how does that look practically? When I want to lie down on my bed and hide (totally different than lying down to rest), I try to think of the next right thing, or the next logical step, pray, and then do it. This can mean put a load of clothes in the washing machine, unload the dishwasher, call someone I need to call, journal about a decision I am trying to make, cook dinner, or just play with the kids. Sometimes I can get through the day by doing the next right thing over and over. I don't live frozen by my responsiblities. I thank God for all that he has blessed me with and I do something.

Ten on Tuesday

1. One way I use to combat stress is to sharpen pencils. I get my electric pencil sharpener and take it in the kitchen and sharpen pencils for at least a weeks worth of homework. It's loud and mindless but somehow it helps settle anxiety. Jason is not a fan of this method.

2. The other two blogs that I check daily have also become friends. (Andrea and Kari Jo) This doesn't freak me out because my sister is the common denominator. And they are both awesome women, despite the fact that they are Yankees.

3. Jesus Calling is the best devotional I have ever read. Every day Jesus meets me right where I am on the pages of this little book. (Jason also reads it.)

4. I made fruit roll ups using some of the 10lbs of strawberries we picked. The children like them!

5. I really love to do laundry. It smells so good and it's warm.

6. I kiss Packy every night before I go to bed. He sleeps so deep I can get all in his face and kiss on him and he doesn't wake up. I tell Jay and Emory that I love them but I can't get in their faces because they wake up....and then they wonder what in the world I am doing. Remember this book? I don't want to be that mom.

7. I am not good at calling people back but get very frustrated when people don't call me back.

8. I want to be better at so many things.

9. My dog went with my mom to the beach this week. She came over on her way out of town and he "looked" at her like he wanted to go so she said he could. He likes to play with her dog so she thought it would be fun for everyone.

10. I am super excited it's Tuesday. I hate to rearrange my schedule around LOST but I don't have DVR so what can I do?

Continued

After school today we went to Deer Creek Farms to pick strawberries. Jason was playing golf and we did not have any play dates so I needed an activity. It was so fun! Everyone had their own bucket and the strawberries were beautiful. (Jason thinks that the only reason I went was to take pictures. Well...I can't practice taking pictures if my kids are just sitting on the couch watching TV right?) Everyone got along and it felt great being outside.

The flip side of the great outdoor week that we have had is that the inside of my house is a little out of control. I have enjoyed being present and in the moment with my children all week but I have had to let go of the "being caught up" goal. I am behind but that is OK. This is not to say that I keep a perfect house at any time because I don't. But some of the things that I used to think had to be done BEFORE I could just relax and play with the kids are still not done and it's OK. I want my children to remember me being with them not inside folding towels.