Ten on Tuesday

 1.  For the last 5 days I have obsessively watched a mid-century modern credenza on EBay.  I have been looking for one for a while now.  Mom and I have been to Atlanta and I have scoured Craigslist, EBay, and every mid-century dealer I could find online for hours.  So last week I found the perfect one.  The right shape, length, color, price.....perfect.  No one bid on it for 5 days and I could feel the victory of "winning" this piece to put my new TV on (We have decided to purchase our first flat screen for the new house.  We have all tube TVs and our "family" one weighs at least 500 pounds.  Technology is not where we spend our money. Try not to gasp.)  So last night was the big night.  I signed in and watched it tick down to 5 minutes, the time I had decided to bid.  All is good.  Jason and I watch it tick down to one minute and he starts playing some count down music on the guitar (ugh).  10 seconds.  Then at 5 seconds my bid is replaced by someone else, $10 more than my max price and it's over.  I lost.  My heart sank.  I wanted to scream but I didn't.  I went to bed.  So here was my thought process.  If I am to believe that God is sovereign over everything then that includes my EBay bid.  So it wasn't supposed to be mine for some reason.  Maybe there is a better one out there for me.  Does God want me to trust him with my big decisions and my little ones? Yes.  (Jason is disappointed because now he knows I will keep looking for hours.)

2. It's spring break!  I really see no spring because it is cold and rainy.  But, I have discovered something I enjoy doing with my older kids.....tween movies!  Jason's mom always took Jay and Emory to see cartoon movies so I never really did.  I don't like to watch them at home because if I am at home I want to be doing something (or watching Bravo).  So Friday we went to see Diary of a Wimpy Kid, Rodrick Rules (the only books Jay has willingly read).  I laughed out loud.  So between the Justin Beiber movie and this one, I have decided tween movies (G or PG only) might be a way for me to do something with just my big kids. 

3.  I am trying to hold it together with the "slow move".  Everyday someone asks me when I am moving.  Now, is usually my reply.  I have just enough to do at both houses that I can feel a little overwhelmed at times.  Someone reminded me that when it's May, I will be at the new house and this time will be over.  Right.  Why stress just to stress? 

4.  Yesterday, I found out that someone I went to meetings with died of the disease of addiction.  This person was my age and I sat next to them several times over the last year.  It is always hard for me to hear when someone dies, and I have heard it many times during the 2 years I have been sober.  I don't know if people understand that people really do die from addiction.  Believe me they do.  It once again makes me thankful that God opened my ears to hear what people were telling me I needed to do 2 years ago and that he opened my heart and mind to believe them.  I believe, honestly, that if I had not gotten sober I would not be alive today.  My days were numbered on the path I was on.  Thank you God for giving me a second chance at life!

5. I am up early for spring break.  I have that nervous butterfly stomach.  Not because I am going anywhere, but my kids are.  Mom is taking them to the beach (which will be cold and rainy) and I have a few days to bust it.  How awesome is my mom?  So, I got up early to do this list so that I can be productive all day.    This list actually takes me a while to do.

6.  Sunday, Hunter preached on Ephesian 6:1-4.  It's the "children obey your parents" verse. Jay and Emory sit in big church and this is never a relaxing time for me.  Gone are the days when I could just sit and enjoy the sermon.  Now I have gum chewing, feet tapping, fidgeting, "how much longer?" people sitting next to me.  But, I thought this week would be great because Hunter was talking to them.  Maybe this would be the breakthrough I was looking for.  Maybe they would listen intently. Maybe they would get it.  Nope.  The main points were that we should train our children to obey what we say, when we say it, and with a good attitude.  My children were not doing any of these DURING THE SERMON.  I was stressed when I left.  A follow up call (to check on me) by the preacher's wife, who is my sweet friend, reminded me that we are training them to do these things. Training is a process, not a one time and you get it deal.  She also reminded me that the most important thing that we as parents can do for our kids is love each other.  When kids know that their parents love each other, they have a security that helps them deal with the other parts of life. (Listen to the sermon here.)

7.  I miss LOST. 

8.  Emory and Packy are in full on show mode.  Music, dancing, acting, jump roping...they do it all.  I don't mine watching the first act of these shows but when it reaches the 10 minute mark and they start making it up as they go along, I'm over it.  I used to make up shows with my cousin when I was little.  I still remember all of the planning we put in to each act and how excited we were to show my grandparents.  The pictures are from one of the most recent shows. (Shows are not really Jay's thing, but every once in a while he will have a part.  Ususally the "crazy" person.  Mmm hmmm.)

9.  On Sunday I was packing and watching a marathon of Hoarders:Buried Alive on TLC. Want to know how to get rid of all the excess junk you have?  All of the things you keep just to keep, but don't really need?  Watch a show about hoarding over and over while you are moving.  Thank you TLC.  My yardsale/Goodwill pile is huge right now.

10.  I give up on making these pictures in a row.  Pictures from the show....

Ten on Tuesday

1.  It's spring.  This is what I love.  Warm weather and front yard playing.  Packy is quite the tag player.  What he lacks in speed he makes up for in determination.  Look at that face.  He is seizing the moment he spots her with her back turned.

2.  According to my sister, I am in full house obsession mode.  I don't think so.  I mean maybe I am, but can you blame me?  I am moving and I want to paint every room before we move in.  I am color challenged.  My current house is white.  As in we painted every single interior room and hall white (kitchen, bedrooms, bathroom, everything).  It's been like this for a few years so color is new to me.  I love my all white house and alot of my new house will be white too.  It's so fresh and clean.  I am trying to only do things at the new house that I LOVE, not things that will do.

3.  I wanted a church pew for my mudroom so I started looking on eBay.  Jason mentioned that he thought his parents had one so I inquired.  They did.  They have one that was Jason's grandparent's from their church.  When the church was remodeled they sold the pews to the members. This was their actual pew that they sat in.  His grandparents  died a few years after we got married.  Since Jason's parents weren't using it, it lives at my new house now.  I love furniture that has meaning.  Since most of my furniture is a hand me down from somebody, it has a story.

4.  More pictures.

5.  I took Packy to Nana Cable's assisted living home to visit today.  He was shy and was whispering when people were talking to him.  I told him he need to talk louder because they couldn't hear him.  So he said very loudly, "Why can't old people hear?".  They thought it was funny (except Nana because she didn't hear him).
6.  Is anyone else overwhelmed with the switching the clothes for the kids because it's officially a new season job?  It is rough over here.  I was happy to figure out that because of my sweet friends who hand down clothes that Jay is the only one who really needs anything.  Yea!

7.  I love evening sun pictures.  If you swing by in the late afternoon I would love to take your picture.  My only problem is that my own children are so dirty during this beautiful time of day.  Pretty picture, dirty mouth.

                                        
8.Keeping it light this week right?  Well I did learn a lesson this week but it's a little too personal to put out there for the world.  I did have to use some tools....spiritual and sobriety.  Anxiety is a beast but I ran it to the ground with the help of  Keisha and Rihanna via my iPod. 
9.  Jason is not really a "fix it" guy but he is one heck of a painter.  Let me just take this opportunity to thank him.  He agreed to paint every room in our new house, not because it needed to be painted, but so I could make it my own.  I love that man (who is painting right now at 9:43 pm).
10.  I leaned on a few of you pretty hard this week.  Thank you for holding me up.  Someone suggested adding to my prayers to receive my validation from Christ and not people or things.  I have prayed this for my children for years, that they would not look to their friends for security, but to their maker. Sometimes we just need to be reminded.
(This week is dedicated to Keena, David Mac, and Dana the birthday girl. No reason other than it's my blog, I saw all of you today, and cuz I want to.)

Ten on Tuesday

1.  I did give up Facebook for lent.  It wasn't my idea but I liked the sound of it.  I waste alot of time on Facebook.  You know the drill....you look at something interesting on your news feed and an hour later you are looking at the girl who moved in 2nd grade's pictures of her trip to Disney World. Is this really making the most of my time? So, I liked the idea of giving it up for 40 days and replacing that time with something with more of an eternal perspective.  I don't have anything against Facebook, so don't get me wrong.  That being said, I did look at it on my birthday, which was yesterday.  Facebook is fun on your birthday (you know it)  and since I am not under any law to not look at it, I did.  (Thank you for my birthday wishes!) (Also, Jason is checking my mail on FB just in case I get a message I need to answer in a timely matter.)

2.  Packy quit sucking his thumb.  On his own.  He may be the only person in our family to have self-control.  He went to the dentist about 6 months ago and they told him he needed to stop.  He said no.  We told him he needed to stop. He told us no.  He was never an all day sucker.  Usually just at night.  The last time we had a thunderstorm he got in the bed with me, but he wasn't sleeping.  I told him to put his thumb in his mouth and go to sleep.  He looked at me and said, "Mama, I don't suck my thumb anymore.  I don't want my teeth to stick out."  Sweet baby.  I don't know if he is self conscience about his teeth (because they do stick out) or if he just decided it was time.  Either way, he made up his mind and quit.  This is the kind of resolve that most of the adults in my family just don't have.

3.  Guess what Jason got me for my birthday?  A Panini maker!  He actually surprised me and I am so excited. Lee (Betsy's husband) made some awesome combinations when I was visiting a couple of weeks ago and I can't wait to copy them.  Goat cheese, fig, and prosciutto? Arugula, mozzarella, and tomato?  Nutella and banana (not for me because I don't do bananas)?  I might just have to have a Panini party!

4.  I had a parent/teacher conference yesterday and did not cry.  That is progress! On the days I remember that God has a plan for Jay (just like He does for me) and that I am not in control of His plan for Jay, then I have peace.  I get frustrated when I put my plan for Jay first.  It's one thing to accept that God has a plan for your life, but it is a totally different thing to accept that He has one for your kids.  I know that as a mom I really want to control what happens to my kids. 

5.  Packy went to school today in all navy blue.  Navy blue pants and a Christmas navy blue shirt.  He got dressed all by himself.  Since he is my third child, I know that it does not matter if he wears something to school that I think is ridiculous. And,  that if I made him change after all of the effort he put in to getting dressed it would crush his small victory.  Plus, navy blue is my signature color.  I love navy.  I just painted my new dining room navy and I LOVE it.  So, off to school in his all navy outfit he went and nobody cared.  Don't sweat the small stuff.

6.  The house is coming along.  We (meaning Jason, his dad, and my dad) have been painting a few nights a week and on the weekend.  I have been loading up my van with as much stuff as I can each day and taking it over.  On my birthday Jason and I moved my dining room table and buffet.  Yes, I moved it.  In case you didn't know I do cross-fit and I am really strong.  Like really strong.  Thanks Howard.

7.  Last Friday Packy went to Scott's in Atlanta with my mom and me.  All day.  He shopped until he dropped.  Actually, he played on Mimi's iPhone.  He is an iPhone master.  He played cupcake, donut, nacho, pizza, cookie, cake, Christmas dinner, race car, motorcycle, and pie maker.  He made lots of stuff.  After he would make a couple of whatever he was making he would delete the game and ask to download a new game.  I had to enter her password each time so I knew the games were free.  Yesterday he spent a couple of hours at Mimi's and this morning I got a call from her after she received a $44 itunes bill.  I don't know how, but he went to town on her phone and bought 16 games.  The itunes people were very nice to refund her money after she explained that a 4 year old bought the games, not her.

8.  Still trying to get used to my new camera.  It is a heavy camera and I don't have all of my setting exactly like I want yet.  It does make the sweetest sound when it clicks.  A good, solid clicking sound.  Music to my ears. I love it.

9.  Emory's teeth have all fallen out in a month. See the pictures above. On another note, Emory learned a good lesson in disappointment this week.  She really wanted a solo part in the grandparent's production at school.  She tried out and didn't get it, but 3 of her good friends did.  She is not the strongest singer but she has all the confidence in the world.  I'm sure she belted out that song as loud as she could.  She was very upset about not getting the part. Lots of tears at school and at home.  This was a "teaching moment".  I told her that God's will is perfect.  I explained that sometimes what we want does not happen, but that it is still part of God's plan.  She seemed to get it. She could trust God that He has a perfect plan for her even if it wasn't how she planned it. She did get a speaking part so she resolved to do the best she could do with her lines and has been practicing everyday since.  Different children, different issues.  Emory is never afraid to try so she might get disappointed more than the other child, who won't try because he is scared to fail.

10.  Packy has so many faces.  Happy, sad, mad, surprised, scared. See above. Can you guess which emotion he is acting out? The big picture is the last one I took.  That's the face that says "I am done."

Guess who got a new camera?

And guess who has a son that is 9 going on 18?
Update: That is a collar stay in his mouth.  Nothing else.

Lent

For lent I gave up Facebook.
In place of the time I spent on Facebook, I will pray, mainly for Jay, and work deeper on my BSF study of Isaiah.

Ten on Tuesday

1.  Emory is 8.  See her shirt?  It's Justin Beiber.  We went to see his movie for her birthday.  It was really good.  Even if you don't like him,  it was a well done documentary and it will make you like him more than you did.  It makes you appreciate his talent (plays the guitar and drums as well as sings) and the fact that he did not need the "Disney machine" behind him in order for him to blow up. He has an interesting story and it was touching. (Yes, I did just dedicate one of my posts to Justin Beiber. I like him.  I danced in my chair during the movie.  Deal with it.)
2.  This has been a hard Jay week.  Nothing specific, just tough.  It is really hard to focus on development and not the immediate end result.  I want to explain something to him and him to get it.  After a few minutes of explaining something I feel is really serious,  he looks at me and asks if I want to play Mad Libs. No, I don't want to play!  I want you to get what I am telling you.  How can I expect him to get it when it took me forever to?  Pray, pray, pray.  And then pray some more.
3.  New York living.  It's a bit of a hassle.  You (meaning Betsy, since that is my reference point), do tend to stay in your neighborhood.  She lives on the west side, meaning west of Central Park.  Her school, grocery store, and anything else she needs are within walking distance.  She goes to BSF on the east side so she usually takes a cab.  The grocery stores are funny.  Funny to me.  They are small and crowded.  Trader Joe's is awesome but when I went, it was cart-to-cart traffic.  The next problem is getting the groceries home.  Cab?  Stuff it all in the basket of your stroller? Bus? She can only buy for a couple of days because her kitchen is too small to stock up for the week.  Lucky for Betsy, her husband likes to grocery shop and she can get all of her essentials at Duane Reade (drug store).  Essentials like cake mix to hide in the back of her cabinets (until her sister comes, finds it, and eats it all).
4.  Charlie Sheen.  I can't stop watching.  He is so sick.  At first it made me laugh and Packy and I still like to say "Duh, winning" but it is really so sad.  Sad, that when you are in your disease you can't see it but everyone else can.  Sad, that he really believes the things he is saying.  Sad, that he has children and they will suffer too.  Been there. Done that.  Happy to be in recovery (and also happy that my crazy wasn't on the news).
5.  I ordered my new camera.  Super duper excited.  For real.  Expect big things.  Maybe even pictures posted on days other than Tuesday!
6.  I really enjoyed this post on the Creative Mama (the first half).  How many of  us "lose" ourselves in our 30's?  We start being defined by our roles and lose our core. We try to be who we think people want us to be, or be like people we think we should be like. It is exhausting trying to be other people.  I am happy to be comfortable today with me, just as I am. 
7.  Lately I have been very encouraged by other women.  I know I have said that before but I forget how important connecting with other women is to my life.  Someone at the gym really made me feel better with just a quick comment when I was really stressing about Jay.  Nothing earth shattering.  Just a quick word of encouragement from someone who understands a child that takes more effort than the "regular" (ha ha) child.  That really helped.  I want to be aware of situations where God can use me to encourage others.
8.  How cute is this? Another friend from the gym gave me this to take to my new house.  I was actually thinking about how I was going to transition from my birdhouse to the new house.  I even thought about changing the name of my blog.  Now I don't have to.  I can take my birdhouse with me.  How thoughtful! 

9.  Jay is reading.  Huh?  It is really interesting.  He really like those Diary of a Wimpy Kid books and will give up after school playground time to sit in the car and read.  That is so me.  When I read a good book I can not stop.  He has never enjoyed reading so watching him really love it makes me so happy. Now, after he finishes these books, any suggestions on another series?
10.  Still trying to be aware.  Praying for awareness.  Where is God trying to use me in a big way, or a small way?  He uses us.  We just have to be aware.

Surprise it's Friday

If you only knew how many times I have pulled up this site and thought I just can't do it right now.  I got back Friday and jumped right into my life and haven't stopped.  I am really tired.  Jason was questioning my 8:30 bedtime last night.  Like, really tired.  We bought a house this week, Emory turned 8, and everything else in between.  Tomorrow, I will rest.  And the kids will probably watch lots of TV and play lots of wii. 

1.  That is Josie holding Lolly's foot in the picture above.  See how she is squeezing her just a tad too hard?  Poor Josie.  She adjusting to the new person in her life.  I took most of the pictures that I tagged on to my FB page.  Thank goodness Betsy has a camera since I am camera sad.  I think I might order my new one today.  I have felt really naked without my camera. 

2.  I HATE how when I leave my kids they are perfect and when I get home they revert back.  I know this is a mom thing but it stinks!  Jason said they really didn't whine or fight while I was gone.  My mom said the same thing about the beach.  I wasn't home an hour before all of those things were back in play.  I haven't prayed for patience so I don't know what God is trying to teach me. 

4.  I did pray something very specific for Betsy's delivery, along with many other women, and He answered our prayers.  I had to remind myself that it didn't just happen because her delivery was different this time, or she just pushed differently, it happened because we prayed and God answered our prayers.  I think that sometimes when I pray specifically and then he answers, I often give the credit to circumstance and not Him.  Not on purpose, I just don't think about it because the situation is resolved.  I have to be aware of how God has answered prayers in my life so I can give Him the praise and glory and gratitiude that He deserves. 

5. Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us... Ephesians 3:20

This was Jay's memory verse for last week.  I love the "more than we ask or imagine".  So many times I think I know what I need but He has a plan that is even more that I can imagine.  I  still have overwhelming gratitude for God's timing and this new house.  If I had gotten my way, we would have sold our house last year and since we couldn't find what we wanted, I was willing to move to an apartment.  Instead, God waited a year, sold it without it being for sale, and allowed us to buy a house that has everything I have ever wanted and more.  The sooner I live everyday looking to Him for the plan and not myself the sooner I will have peace.

6.  One thing I have learned is being aware (taught to me by a wise city woman).  Sometimes I stress over spending individual time with each of my children and make it into a big thing, like a date night.  This usually ends in a fight because they see it as what are you going to buy me time.  If I am aware then I can steal individual time that just happens and make the most of it.  If Jay wants me to watch him play his DS while Emory is at tumbling then that is individual time that I am affirming him (I absolutely hate watching them play video games, except Just Dance, because I like to play that one) or if Packy wants to play trains while the kids are school then I should get down on the floor and play.  You might not have to teach yourself this but I am a "non-playing" mom so I have to think about it.  That is just one thing along the lines of being aware.  I'll tell you some more later.

I think I will end on that note.  It is Friday and I am going to see the Justin Beiber movie later this afternoon.  I am going to work on my thoughts from New York so maybe I can make that Tuesday's ten.  Any questions?  Anything?