Ten on Tuesday

1.  I have a $2 bill that I keep in my wallet.  My grandfather gave it to me and he died when I was 8 so I have had it a very long time.  Every time I get a new wallet it goes in the zippered pocket.  Many times in college I came close to spending it on....well, you know, but I didn't.  My kids think it is so cool and I love to look at it and remember my Papa Cable who I loved so much.
2.  Saturday I ran my first 5k.  I did not train and I am not a runner, but because of my Cross Fit training I was able to finish in 29:02.  I feel better now at 36 than I ever did in my 20s.  I always thought taking care of your mind, body, and soul was so new age and hokey.  It's amazing how I feel now that I am actually taking care of all three!
3.  The race went right by my house so I had a cheering section as I went by.  How fun to hear "Go Mama Go" from the cutest bunch of kids. 
4.  This article is really helping me.  It was posted by my friend Andrea who has an amazing blog that you can read here.  I am really trying to be intentional in what I buy and bring in to my house.  Do I really need this item or do I just want it to make me feel better?  Just because it's on sale does that actually make it a wise purchase?  This theory was really tested this weekend because I had a 30% off everything coupon to Old Navy.  I should buy stuff because it's cheap right?  I walked away from the Navy without anything because I didn't need anything.
5.  Along the same lines I am trying to teach my children about wise purchases.  I put a lot of thought into Christmas.  I don't want a room full of plastic that is so fun to open and then put on the shelf and never  played with again.  I would rather spend a little more money on a quality gift that I know they are going to use than a bunch of "filler" presents to put under the tree.  Teaching them to save their money to buy something they actually want instead of buying a bunch of junk at the Dollar Store (that will break before the sun sets) is another lesson that they are starting to learn. 
6.  We are jumping right into our new church, North Macon Presbyterian.  It's totally out of my comfort zone to be the new person but it's is totally what I feel like God is calling our family to do.  I have a post coming about how this came about.  Keep in mind I have never gone to another church.  Ever.  Since I was 3.
7.  I felt fall this morning.  Did you feel it?  Football is coming.  Go Falcons.
8.  I don't not understand how children win the Zero Absences award at school.  Mine have both missed a day each.  You puke, you don't go to school.  How can you go an entire school year without getting sick once....or are these the kids who come to school and get everyone else sick? (The picture above is the first day of school.)
9.  My house is always messy.  No matter how hard I try, the people who live in my house get their stuff everywhere (not Jason).  I have a goal this fall of having people over for dinner.  So how do these two things work out?  Should it matter?  Now before you start thinking "Of course it doesn't matter"  just ask how you really want your house to look when people come over. And on a side note..dinner party with or without kids?
10.  Thanks for hanging with me through last week's 10.  I actually went to church right after I posted that and heard an awesome lesson that turned my bad attitude right around.  Isn't it cool when you hear exactly what you need to hear?  God is always in the details.

Ten on Tuesday

Late.  Again.
1.  After school is my witching hour.  I haven't seen Jay and Emory all day and yet I can be upset with them before we even get home.  "Why did you make us bring our lunch today?  It was bacon cheeseburger day and that's my favorite."  "Why can't we go to Dairy Queen?"  And then homework time.  It can be gruelling.  I have tried to plan my meals so I cook in the morning and can totally be available after school for homework.  I don't know if they have just been trying so hard to be "good" at school that they have nothing left when they get home but the attitudes I get are hard to take.  Draining. 
2.  Confession.  I spend too much time on the computer. 
3. Today has been a hard day. 
4.  I am reading a marriage book called Love and War.  It is really good.  They reminded me that marriage is two sinners living together.  Trying to glorify God in everything, while living in an imperfect world. God uses marriage to shape us. No one is perfect. 
5.  We are starting our new church next week. 
6.  Composting and recycling were hard to manage until I figured out that the tiny people that live in my house are fully capable of doing this chore. 
7.  It's hard to do this list when I am not in a good mood.
8.  Add to my list of de-stressers-  hula hooping (pencil sharpening is my other one).  These are my hoops. I made them.  They make me happy.

9.  Today I am really missing beach life.  It's so slow at the beach.  I am trying to live slowly in a fast world and it's not easy. 
10.  I'll try to do better next week.  This 10 bites.

Ten on Tuesday (on Wednesday)

1.  I am sad today.  Betsy and the girls are leaving.  It has been such a fun summer and I love having Betsy around.  She makes me laugh and helps me process my crazy life.

2.  I am really going to miss Josie.  She really loves me, my car, and my house.  Last summer she was still a Mama's girl but this summer she has been Aunt Paydon's girl.  There is no other feeling like coming in to a house and a sweet 2 year old running from the other room and jumping in to your arms. 

3.  We were talking at dinner last night about how this time of year is like New Year's.  We really run by a school calendar year and it's a brand new year.  This year I am going to be more organized, involved, on top of things.  Heard that before?

4.  There is a wave of divorce right now in Macon with people my age.  It makes me very sad and especially considering all of the small children involved.  I don't know any of the details and make no judgements but I do know marriage is hard.  I have seen some marriages that have been to hell and back and stuck it out.  The difference is that these people committed their marriage to God and when it got hard, like for real, hard core hard, they got on their knees.  And they worked.  Marriage is work.  Seasons of really hard, super hard, work.  But God can repair all of the brokenness if you let Him.  After the work is the sweetness. Don't give up!

5. I am not a fancy mom.  This used to bother me and sometimes I would buy outfits that made me look like a fancy mom and I would feel uncomfortable.  In my "new life" I have become comfortable with me.  Not me trying to be somebody else.  There is such freedom in this.  So when I go to visit my children at school, I am just me, flip flops and all.

6.  Jason got an iPhone.  I don't know who is more excited. Me?  The kids?  Him?  Let's just say that we are all really excited.

7.  School is so far so good.  Emory loves everything.  Jay doesn't hate everything and that is good.  Boys don't give details about their day so it's hard to tell, but I think Jay is having a good start.

8.  One thing that I am really good at it is putting stuff in to my shopping cart and then talking myself out of it by the time I get to the register.  This can be online or brick and mortar stores.  I have to have it at the back of the store but then I realize what a waste of money it is.  I am really trying to watch what I bring in to the house.  I hate junk and we have so much junk.  I could take a bag to Goodwill daily.

9.  I will have 2 new nieces/nephews in the next six months (my s.i.l. Amanda and Betsy).  I love babies and can not wait to get my nose on some baby breath! And take some baby pictures. 

10.  Very content.  Very happy.  Right where I am right now.

Fear

I used to think I didn't fear anything.  Anxiety? Yes.  Fear? No.  Now I know that I was wrong.  I fear a lot of things.  I fear death.  Jason, my kids, my parents.  Anyone close to me.  I don't fear dying because I rest in the assurance of my Saviour, but I fear my kids living without me.  I also fear getting old, crazy people that I see on TV, and other random things.  But the thing I have the most fear about is Jay.  I fear that people won't give him a chance to see the real Jay and that they will write him off.  Teachers, friends, parents.  I just want to tell them that he might act crazy and silly but he has a kind heart and he will show it to you if you give him some time.  Last year I knew his teacher from church.  I loved her before he had her but so much more after.  She loved him.  Did she discipline him when he needed it? Yes.  But she still loved him through his mistakes.  I don't know his teacher this year so I fear that she won't get him. Will she be able to love him good and bad?  His teacher from last year talked to his new teacher before school started.  She told me that she told her that he is a great kid and he will be a great student.  He just needs to trust you and know that you will still love him if he messes up.  Of course I cried.  So today as the fear creeps up I have stayed in prayer for Jay.  Thanking God for him and praying for this year.  Praying that his teacher will love him.  But most of all thanking God that He loves me good and bad.  That he loves me even when I mess up.  That I can trust Him.  I am so glad I serve and love a God that loves me through my mistakes and even uses them to make me more like His son.  No fear that I can screw up so bad that His love will go away.

Ten on Tuesday

1.  Packy jumped off the diving board and swam to the side yesterday.   I am so proud of my little swimmer!  It is so interesting to watch the different personalities of my children.  Jay was, and is, hard to teach. He has a fear of failure.  Packy just does it.  No fear.
2.  I am ready for school to start.  Longing for a routine.  Ready to clean the house in the morning and have it still clean until the late afternoon.
3.  My mom sent my kids back to school balloon bouquets.  The kids were so excited.
4.  I was really grumpy on Sunday.  I think I had been gone for so long I had forgotten how to relate to people.  Everyone was getting on my nerves.  I was very "me" focused.  I did some reading Sunday and realized how selfish I was.  Monday morning I started over with an attitude of service..."What can I do for someone else?"  By Monday night I felt much better.  Amazing how getting out of myself can make be a happier person.
5.  Packy has started drawing.  He drew his first person with the circle head and the legs coming out of the head.  Isn't it interesting that they all draw this way first?
6.  My cousin, who is about to go to college, took Jay and Emory to Henry Burns park for the morning.  They went to explore the creek.  I used to do this with Hope when I was their age.  It's fun for your children to grow up in the same place you did.
7.  We went bowling Saturday morning at 9am.  Guess who is at the bowling alley this early?  No one!  It was great.  Bowling is the only sport that I can actually compete with Jason.  I won.  Twice.  It felt good.  The kids had fun and no one pouted for a couple of hours.

8.  I gave Jay a spool of string the other day.  He and Packy made a giant spiderweb in their room.  It was really cool.  I let them keep it up for a couple of days.  It was really hard to clean up when I had to do it on my hands and knees.

9.  What happens when your aunt digs a giant hole in the sand and you are so little that you can fit in it and then you get stuck?  And then your mom tries to pull you out?  This is what happens....

10.  My children are screaming.  As loud as they can.  It is so time for school to start.

What I want my people to remember.

I had such a good time this year at Tybee.  I actually read a book.  The book was by Anne Rivers Siddons and her books are always set by water and involve people who have known each other their entire lives.  The plot usually involves the same people doing the same summer retreat over the course of a lifetime.  As I reflected about Tybee it started to read like a book.  Every year we go for the better part of July.  My sister brings her babies from NYC.  The menfolk come on the weekends and usually one full week.  Hope and her family come some too. 
So this is how I want my kids to read the book of their summers.  Or, what I want my people to remember.
1.  Riding waves.  I have always loved how free I feel when I am riding waves and I still do.  It's so fun to ride a good one in right beside Emory and give the hang ten sign when we make it all the way to the shore.
2.  Making drip castles.  Conventional castles are too difficult for Tybee sand but we can really rock the drip castles.  Also very therapeutic.
3.  Outside showers.  My mom has an outside shower and you are required to use it after the beach.  I love it.  Emory and Hattie go together.  Packy and I go together and sometimes we bring Josie.  I don't know why but it is fun to shower outside.  This year I took a nighttime shower.  It was a little spooky but there was a thunderstorm in the distance and the lightening was really cool to watch.
4.  Hide and seek.  I take this game very seriously.  My hiding spot is not going to be a closet that you open the door and see me.  This year I hid in the utility closet that backed up to the stairs and I went all the way back to the stairs.  It was dark and I know there were some roaches waiting for me but I waited it out.  Jay loves my good hiding.
5.  Walking to the ice cream shop.  Every trip to Tybee includes a couple of walks to Tybee Sweets.  The walk up there is usually at dusk and everyone is sticky on the walk back.  The gelato is delicious. 
6.  Bike riding.  We are experts at packing it on a bike and getting to the beach.  I hope the kids remember riding all over the island.  I love that Tybee is small enough that you can ride anywhere.  It makes going to the grocery store an adventure if you are biking.

7. Special Chu's trips.  Chu's is a store that has a little bit of everything.  Every child gets a special trip to Chu's with either a dad, uncle, grandmother, or grandad during their trip.  They usually buy a plastic toy that doesn't make it very long but the trip to Chu's makes it special.
8.  Fishing on the back river.  Pole, throwing net...it doesn't matter.  This is mainly a Jay and Packy activity with a dad or papa.  Sometimes you catch a fish, or a crab, or a sting ray.  It doesn't matter.  Catching something is catching something.  Same excitement.
9.  Sharks teeth.  The kids have not been successful at this adventure yet.  But they have Cable blood in them and I am confident they will find them  They will for sure remember the adults looking for them and the thrill we get when we find them.
10.  Parents laughing and loving each other.  We have such a good time together laughing, having game night, cooking good food, and acting like kids a lot of the time.  This year Jason and I tried to have some "us" time as well.  One night we went on a bike ride after dark to the beach and swam in the ocean.  I did not go out very far because it was scary. Then we sat in the lifeguard stand and talked while we watched people walking on the edge of the ocean.  Just us.  We told the kids what we did the next morning.  I want my kids to know that we love each other and I think they do.

So that is my Anne Rivers Siddons novel.  All of us at the beach every year.  The same friends and family.  Sometimes new people, but the core group is always there. Doing the same things.  Making new memories each time.  Life is good at Tybee.