Thursday, July 15, 2010

I feel music.

"Look man, you can listen to Jimi but you can't hear him. There's a difference man. Just because you're listening to him doesn't mean you're hearing him."  Sidney Deane, White Men can't Jump


I like music.  I appreciate music.  But most of all I feel music.  You either do or you don't.  I think lots of people like music and consider themselves a "music lover" and I think they do, but I don't think everyone feels music.  Deep down in your body.  Speaks to your soul.  Connects you in way that your body can't deny.  My life has centered around music since I can remember. Every kind... from bluegrass to show tunes to hymns to rock to pop.  All of it.  Concerts have always been very important to me too.  Not because I want to be seen at a concert or look at it as an event but because live music is heaven.  Some people feel music but their spouse doesn't.  I would not have married someone who didn't feel the same way about music as I do.  It's that important.  I think this is something you are born with.  Liking and appreciating music can be learned but feeling music can not.  When I got sober I was scared that I wasn't going to get to feel music like I used to. Really scared. This was such a big part of my life and I didn't want to lose it. The reality is I don't feel music like I use to.  Not like I use to because I wasn't sober before at any concert that I can remember.  And there are a lot I don't remember.  But, I do still feel it.  I still want to dance and it still moves me. Being this connected can be good and bad.  There are plenty of songs that remind me of the "dark time" in my life.  I can't listen to them.  One time a song came on the radio and I felt like the air was sucked out of my lungs.  I had to turn it.  So while I still get to enjoy music I also have to guard myself because it is so personal. I love that God gave us music.  He didn't have to.  He didn't have to give us the details that make life special but He did.  He loves to see His children enjoying His creation.  He even made music one of the main ways we can worship Him.  He likes music that much.  Awesome.
I will sing and make music to the Lord.  Psalm 27:6

1 comment:

Andrea said...

Payton,
I think it's great you recognize what power music has and the power it has over you. It's good to keep that in mind because it can have positive and negative influences on you, and it sounds like since you've become sober you have realized that more and that is a good thing.
Blessings, Andrea