I actually wrote most of my post on Tuesday. I was going to tell you how I was being followed by a black cloud. How I was fighting for joy, despite doing the things that keep me emotionally, spiritually, and physically balanced. How I have a stye in my eye, a rash on my neck, and an iPhone that is shattered because Packy tripped and slammed it on a rock. I was going to tell you how I threw a hissy fit at my kids (complete with kicking a wall) and told them I hope Santa brings them nothing for Christmas and the guilt that followed. Then I was going to tell you that I took Packy to Build-a-Bear Workshop to buy his prize for quitting sucking his thumb and how much he loves the dog he bought. And then how I busted him sucking his thumb a couple of days later and that he confessed, "I've been sucking it the whole time." On and on went my woes. Jason was concerned. My mom was concerned. But this morning something happened. I started tearing up. Flooded with emotion. And I realized that when Justin Beiber singing Christmas songs makes me this emotional, hormones are probably to blame.
So why don't I just tell you what I am grateful for.
1. My family. I have an amazing husband. He continues to be a rock for me and an awesome dad to our kids. My kids are continuing their duty as tiny sanctifiers in my life. Ever reminding me how selfish and powerless I am. They push me to my breaking point, which leads to prayer (most of the time). But when they get along and enjoy each other it gives me the most happiness. I also have an awesome mom, dad, and sister. They have taught me unconditional love and make me laugh so hard. (I could go on and on about each one of them but I can't make this too sappy.) I also have an awesome "by marriage" family and I love them too.
2. My church. Our pastor came to see Packy and 2 other children from our church in their 4k Thanksgiving program. We didn't know he was coming. It meant the world to those littlest sheep in his flock. I love the community that is forming with old members and new members. How the moms a few years ahead of me are such an amazing and encouraging resource. How it is starting to feel like family.
3. My gym. I know you might think I am weird about my gym but it is really like a family(sometimes complete with sibling-like irritation). I spend alot of time with these people and really care about them. Tonight we went to a college basketball game together. One of our members is an assistant coach and he fed us dinner and supplied us with tickets. It was alot of fun and I don't know of any other gyms that have this same kind of atmosphere. It just feels like family.
4. My AA family. All kinds of people, from all different walks of life. Loving, encouraging, supportive. They listen to me laugh and more often listen to me cry, like a baby, and I never have tissues. Someone else always does. Again, like family. I love you all.
5. I am a blessed girl. I love my new birdhouse (and if you send me a Christmas card, I have a new address). I love our kid's school. I love fall trees. I love my life. Everything about it, right down to my wonky car.