Ten on Tuesday

1.  That kid is still trying to break my heart.  He is so smart.  He thinks if he wakes up and ignores the uniform sitting on his dresser and puts on his play clothes that school won't happen.  It happens.  Today he told me that everyday is too many days for him to go (with tears).  Last year he only went two days so I was expecting five to be hard.  By the time we got to the drop off line he was fine.  Donuts were the snack today so that sealed the deal.  He just likes to tug my heart strings.

2.  Yesterday he wore his shorts to school backwards and no one noticed.  Jason picked him up and took him to Chik-fil-A.  Still did not notice.  When they got home, I noticed.  Of course I didn't make him take them off and put them on the right way.  We were half way thru the day so really, what would be the point?

It would just make him mad.  He is a third child and sometimes things happen. 

3.  I saw someone who had relapsed recently.  You can see it in their eyes.  Now I am no expert and certainly no judge, but I can tell when the light I saw come on when someone got sober is now gone from their eyes. My mom told me this summer that when I was actively using she felt like Michael J. Fox in Back to the Future. Remember how he had the picture of his family and they were slowly fading away?  She said that she felt like she was watching me fade away.  I have just started to really explore how my parents felt as they watched me over the years make decisions that hurt myself and my family.  I don't think I could even allow myself to go there when I first got sober.  It was too much for me to process. When you are sick, you think you are only hurting yourself.  When you start to realize how it impacted others, it is really, really hard.  My mom and I had a "moment" as I started to realize what she went through as a mom.  (Love you Mom.)

4.  I am slowly getting back into my routines.  Alarm clock is going off at 5:45 so that I can have my quiet time. I am back at the gym (and insanely sore) and back at meetings. Lunch is the hardest.  I hate lunch and I am totally back to eating cereal.  Lunch gets on my nerves.

5.  I read The Help this summer and went to see the movie this weekend.  It was really good.  Different from the book in some ways,  but still good.  Tears good.  Minnie, Mae Mobley, and Constantine were my favorite people.  I did not grow up with help,  but I did have a babysitter that I loved.  Her name was Wilma and she let me eat mustard sandwiches and make my own chocolate milk (and I used way too much Quik). She took off her wig and took out her teeth when she ironed.  Wilma was also a hoarder.  Way before TLC introduced me to the world of extreme hoarding, I went to Wilma's house and had to follow the narrow path to get anywhere in between stacks of boxes that reached the ceiling.  (I'll have to ask my mom if they actually went to the ceiling.  I was young and short, but that is the picture in my head.)

6.  We had our first official family night on Saturday night.  It's was Jay's night so he got to pick the dinner, make the dessert, and pick the games.  We had pizza, Jay's sundae (crushed Oreos, vanilla ice cream, butterscotch and chocolate syrup), and we played wii bowling and tennis.  It was a hit and everyone had fun until all the wii remotes died and we had no more batteries.  (Ugh.  Battery sucking remotes!)  We also started having a high/low discussion at dinner.  Each night everyone tells the best thing that happened during the day and the worst thing that happened.  It's quite interesting to hear their perspective of their day.  We discovered that if Packy doesn't go first that he copies the person that just went.  Good discussion starter.

7.  She is sooo me.  I won't explain.  Not today.

8. I have officially worn flip-flops too long.  My feet hurt.  The deep kind of hurt.  I have started wearing tennis shoes with outfits that I shouldn't wear tennis shoes with.  In other words, once again, I am becoming my mother.  After years of making fun of my mom's orthopedic, Skecher tennis shoes, I am now eating my words.  I want to get a pedicure and tell the lady she doesn't have to touch my toes.  Just rub my feet.  (I am also becoming my grandmother.  She often burned herself while cooking and now I am carrying on the tradition.  New scars but remember this...scars are tattoos with better stories.)

9.  People are reading in our house and I love it.  I bought a milk crate during my reorganization project and filled it with library books for Packy.  After school we sit on the couch and read.  Emory and I are still working on Black Beauty and she started reading Little House in the Big Woods and loves it.  She is just like her Aunt Betsy (who played Laura Ingalls after school until about the 9th grade).  Jay is even reading without grumbling.  Even reading out loud.  Jason is not reading.   

10. I felt fall for a few seconds this morning.  Did you feel it?  It makes me so happy.