Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Ten on Tuesday

1. There has been a lot going on in the birdhouse these past couple of weeks. 
2.  This is my verse for right now (thank you Hunter Stevenson):
"For I am the Lord, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you,
Do not fear; I will help you." Isaiah 41:13
I love holding hands.  I always have.  With my Dad.  With Jason.  (Not really so much with my friends.  Or my sister.  Really just not girls.  But anyway....)  I love the thought of God taking my hand because He knows I need help.  I have really needed his help recently to stay above water.  And he has provided exactly what I needed.
3.  My mom went to the hospital a week ago with chest pain.  She has an 80% blockage in an artery and they could not put in a stint.  My mom?  I expect my dad to have heart problems because all of the men in his family do, but my mom?  Nope.  Not prepared.  Also, not prepared to see her deal with it.  My mom is a very strong woman and seeing her in pain and scared is a new place for me.  I am blessed that she knows the same God that I do and He is taking her hand right now and telling her "Do not fear.  I will help you." Nothing comes in to our lives that catches God by surprise. Nothing.
4.  Jason and I went back to my treatment center for a "Homecoming" couple of days.  It is a ton of fun because I have a group of girls that I lived with that are all still sober.  It makes me so happy to see these girls and how amazing their lives are now.  It's like seeing a before and after picture that makes you say "Wow".  Jason and I felt more like a resource than the people asking all of the questions this time.  It's all about giving back. 
5.  The sad part about going back is hearing the stories of people who didn't make it.  Overdose, suicide, jail, are common when asking the "What about Joe/Sally" question.  One boy that I knew and saw a couple of times this summer robbed a bank.  Actually, two banks.  Good looking, 26 year old boy sitting in jail for armed robbery.  ( I never thought I would know an actual bank robber!) It makes me very sad.  It also makes me thankful for the people who have found a better way to live, including myself.
6.  Still struggling with Jay.  It's very hard to have a child that appears to find the negative in most situations.  He is emotionally all over the place.  Very mad to very sad.  Let's just say he was mad that I made a cake.  Who gets mad at cake?  The good news is I am trying some new resources and working with his school on some action plans.  Once again trusting that he is God's child and he is using him to teach me.  But it is a really hard lesson. 
7.  Did you know they have Jesus Calling for kids?  I am totally ordering this today.  Our bookstore does not have it so don't even bother driving out there.
8.  The other stuff I am dealing with?  Leaky roof, an army of roaches marching outside my door and sending in thier finest whenever they get the chance, broken air conditioning upstairs (and it's still hot in Macon), broken cell phone (and I don't have a home phone) and Jay broke the window of my sliding mini van door.  How?  He had a rope with a pouch tied to the end of it and he was throwing it over my car.  So far so good.  Except he put a steel ball in the pouch.  (Did you ever play Shoot the Moon?  It was the ball from that.  Solid steel.)  That's all just stuff.  Irritating, but I can deal.  I am doing a lot of hooping for sanity.
9.  Ready for the good stuff? I have been taking pictures.  Still love love love my gym.  Loving this pseudo fall weather.  Happy I got to hold my new niece, Lauren.  Excited that Hattie and Josie will have a new baby sister in February.  (I knew it was a girl!)
10.  Most of all, thankful for the women in my life.  So much wisdom.  So much love.  Thank you for helping me grow!
He does not stop talking.  Ever.  But I just kiss him while that motor mouth is still running.


Lindsey said...

Payton...thank you so much for your Ten on Tuesday posts. I look forward to reading them each week. I love how "real" you are and how much your posts make me think about the things going on in my life.

joyous said...

So thankful to know you. You are such a great testimony to us all. And I am so ordering Jesus Calling for kids!!!!!! You rock!

Leslie said...

I just saw Jesus Calling for kids on another blog I read - ordering it today! Sorry to hear about your mom - she is one of my favorite people and will definitely be in my prayers. Love your posts as they are always so honest and refreshing. With so many people around this town putting on their perfect facade, it is so nice to hear someone just be real.

Trish said...

I SO agree with Lindsey and Leslie. It's nice to see/read that another "real" mom has a "real" life, kinda like mine. Funny to say this but I crave your ToT posts. They put IT into perspective for me. Love you, Payton!

Anonymous said...

I randomly found your blog a couple of years ago while I was pregnant and loved following your updates. Since having my daughter I had stopped following most blogs but for some reason yours came into my head many times today. I started reading back posts and see that you have been sober for quite some time. I always felt a connection to you because of my own struggles with anxiety (much more now, as a mom)and am just curious about what form your addiction took. Both of my parents were (prescription) drug addicts so I have my own fears. If you don't feel comfortable sharing, I understands. You may have even posted, but I am still reading back. Thanks for being so real and open. It is nice to see someone relatable!

payton said...

To Anonymous: I am so glad you found my blog. It is therapy for me to write it but it makes me so happy when other people can relate to it. I am very open about my addiction...pills and alcohol. Thank you for your sweet comment!