Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Ten on Tuesday
2. A friend asked me how it was going with Jay. I told her we were still having trouble but looking for some help from the school and elsewhere. She responded, "When I ask you about Jay, I don't think that one day you are going to say he's fine and that you fixed him." Whoa. That put it all in perspective. It's a journey. It isn't a one day, one week, or even one year deal, but a journey.
3. I don't want to give you the impression that Jay is not enjoyable. He is. He has moments of extreme kindness and is very affectionate. He is funny and smart. He loves to draw and is very good at it. (I recently bought him a sketch pad and he carries it around everywhere.) He is also really good with Lego's. I do love my biggest boy...sometimes I just need God to remind me. I think it's OK to admit that you have a kid that's hard to love. It doesn't mean you don't, it just doesn't come easy.
4. I cook. Jason cleans and I get the kids ready for bed. The other night I happened to be downstairs when he was about to turn on the dishwasher. I watched him as he spit in the dishwasher before he closed it. Excuse me? He said he does this often. Why? He said it was because he can. Really? Our house is a weird place to live.
5. I am late today because I went on the Pumpkin Patch field trip. Somehow I have tricked myself into thinking that because I stay home that I should drive for every single field trip. I am rethinking this thinking. First of all, my children act clingy and different when I am with them on trips. They don't hang with their friends but instead try to get as close to me as they can. Second, I am just too tired to go on another field trip. I think I have been on four this year including the all day Macon trip. So I am going to learn to say no. I used to be good at saying no but that was because I did not want do anything. Balance. I need balance.