Ten on Tuesday

1.  I need you to watch this.  You probably won't, but you should.  Jason made the kids and me watch it and I'm glad he did.  If you don't watch it then you won't understand my pictures.  It's up to you, but I would just go ahead and watch it.                                                                                                                                                                              
2.  We watched it Friday night.  This is what my kids did all day Saturday.  We did not help at all.  There were about 9 games total and they were very thought out.  They had tickets and prizes too.  One of the things that makes me the happiest, is seeing my kids playing together.  All of them.  This was one of those very special days.

(Packy's game was called Music Can.  In order to win, you had to put the right combination of objects in the can and shake them.  When you found the right combination you would know because Packy would start dancing. Really hard dancing.)
 3.  After everyone made a trip through the arcade we started some outside games.  (Jason's family was at our house celebrating his dad's birthday.)

4.  There may or may not have been a homeless person living in my car last week.  I thought I heard him shuffling around as I made a turn.  I went to the carwash so I think he's gone.  He'll probably move back in by the end of the week. (Just to clarify, I do not have a mouse in my car.  This is what Betsy thought.  I'm just saying it's messy enough and has enough clothes and water to feed a person.)
5.  At least a couple of times a week I hear a song on a commercial or TV show and I have to find it.  I can usually google What song is in the _________ commercial? and someone else has already asked the question and found the answer.  I would say I acutally buy 1 out of every 5 I look up.
I found this one from the Bare Minerals commercial:
And this one from the White House Black Market commercial:

6.  Packy's last tee ball game is this Saturday.  I'm really sad to see the season end.  I got to spend some time with friends I don't see in my normal path.  I have some cute pictures but this post is really long with pictures and videos so I'm going to save them for next week.
7.  I have some friends who run a tight ship.  I asked Jason if he thought I ran a tight ship and he quickly answered, no.  My ship is about to tilt over and often springs leaks.  But I think it's a ship that has some well loved crew members.
8.  I have alot on my prayer list right now.  People are hurting. I have friends in treatment, struggling with their marriage, battling disease, looking at an uncertain future, but still trusting that the Lord is in control.  What a witness to trust in times of pain.  I am also praying for some friends who are in Haiti on a mission trip.  People are giving. I love that God wants us to pray about everything.  Good, bad, ugly, and the things that you can't tell another soul.
9.  Did you see the hologram Tupac at Coachella?  Super creepy.  Now "they" are saying you are going to be able to see Michael Jackson in hologram form on a new tour.  I do not like this. At all.
10.  If you don't watch Bravo you are free from reading any further. Let's just say I am in Housewife heaven.
Atlanta crazy people reunion, New Jersey crazy people starting, Don't be Tardy for the Wedding, Bethenny (who is starting to stress me out and not really inspire), and even Kathy Griffin's talk show.  It's a bunch of trash, but it makes laundry so much more interesting.  Mazel Andy Cohen.
11.  Papa Watt (my Mom's dad) turned 89 last week and we all got to celebrate.  I posted a picture on Facebook and tagged all of my cousins because my grandmother wanted told me to.  Someone made the comment, do you know how lucky you are?, and it really got me thinking.  I take for granted the fact that I have 3 grandparents that are still living and live in my same town.  My children have all four of their grandparents and 3 great-grandparents living in the same town.  They also have aunts, uncles, great-aunts and uncles, and cousins living here. I love having so much family close by.  I would say the key to our family is forgiveness.  Forgive, like Christ forgave you.    You can't stay close if you can't forgive.  Papa Watt has been such a living example of this.  His tender heart for the Lord has touched every person in our family.  Love you Papa Watt!

15 Years

Yesterday we celebrated 15 years of marriage. I also celebrated 3 years of sobriety.  It was a hard day.  I was much more emotional this year and Jason had more anxiety.  The day before was even harder. I cried a couple of times without any warning. We were both really edgy with each other and I could not get motivated to do anything at my house.  I literally sat on the couch and ate salt water taffy. I can't really explain it.  We didn't plan anything special and didn't get a babysitter or dinner reservations until after lunch.  I took a bunch of pictures like the one above throughout the day, starting with one in our pajamas.  Jason didn't really get it and my sister didn't either.  I like it.  I wanted to show our love for each other without showing the pain of the past that somehow crept up on us this year. 
I didn't announce this anniversary to everyone I know, like I have in the past.  I didn't put it on Facebook and I couldn't talk about it here until it had passed. It needed to be quiet.  We prayed together, emailed people who helped us during the dark time, and received emails/texts from people that knew what day it was.  I am so thankful for the encouraging emails/texts.  It really reminded me the work that God has done in me and Jason and in our marriage.  Thank you to those who helped me get out of a depressive state and into and profoundly grateful one.  Because of Christ's work on the cross, the past stays in the past.  It's not about me or us but about Him.
"This is the secret- that the gospel of Jesus and marriage explain one another. That when God invented marriage, he already had the saving work of Jesus in mind. The reason that marriage is so painful and yet wonderful is because it is a reflection of the gospel, which is painful and wonderful at once. The gospel is this: We are more sinful and flawed that we ever dared believe, yet at the very same time we are more loved and accepted in Jesus Christ than we ever dared hope. This is the only kind of relationship that will really transform us." Tim Keller The Meaning of Marriage

So the picture above, to me, shows us united together in Christ.  In it for the long haul. By the grace of God.

Ten on Tuesday

1.  Of course I took a ton of pictures on Easter.  Lots of posed pictures.  But my favorite pictures are always the ones before and after the "pose".  This one makes me laugh.  It shows every one's personality so well.  I don't know if it translates to people who don't know these kids but to me it is perfect.

2.  Here's the posed shots.

3.  On March 6, 2009 I checked into a treatment center.  I graduated from my program and came home on June 20, 2009.  For the past 3 years I am always aware of these dates when they roll back around.  I flash back to where I was. Turning 35 in a rehab for drugs and alcohol. I remember what phase I was in my recovery.  (During this week 3 years ago, I was convincing myself that it wasn't fair that I didn't get my last big drinking party.  After telling myself that long enough, I ran away from treatment and had my last drunk.  It was really scary, but that's another story.)  Rehab was the hardest and best thing I ever did.  All that to say, if I have been talking about my addiction more lately, that's why.

4.  Sometimes I wonder if I talk about my addiction too much.  Are people sick of hearing about it?  I used to tear my stomach up worrying about the dumb stuff that I said or if I had already said the same thing to someone the last time I saw them.  Then I would medicate that uncomfortable feeling away.  Now, I really don't worry about it.  My addiction is not everything I am, but it is a big part and sometimes it's what I want to talk about it.  If it's what is on my heart, then I will blog about it, and talk about it. Again. 

5.  At the meetings I go to, they told me that acceptance is the answer to all my problems.  In order to stay sober I had to accept that I was an addict and an alcoholic.  (Sounds simple right?)  After I got that they told me to apply it to everything else in my life. 

Nothing, absolutely nothing happens in God's world by mistake. Until I could accept my alcoholism, I could not stay sober; unless I accept life completely on life's terms, I cannot be happy. I need to concentrate not so much on what needs to be changed in the world as on what needs to be changed in me and in my attitudes.

For me, serenity began when I learned to distinguish between those things that I could change and those I could not. When I admitted that there were people, places, things, and situations over which I was totally powerless, those things began to lose their power over me. I learned that everyone has the right to make their own mistakes, and learn from them, without my interference, judgement, or assistance!

The key to my serenity is acceptance. But "acceptance" does not mean that I have to like it, condone it, or even ignore it. What it does mean is I am powerless to do anything about it... and I have to accept that fact. (Alcoholics Anonymous, "The Big Book", page 449)
6.  Because of acceptance, today, I feel totally at peace in my own skin, something that used to make my skin crawl.  I wanted you to like me, so I tried to be what I thought you liked.  I wanted to be accepted by whatever group I was with so I put on a different mask, trying to fit in. Let me tell you that this is an exhausting way to live. It may sound like high school drama, but it's hard to feel like you don't have a place, even as an adult. It was hard because I wasn't my true self.  I can honestly say I am happy with who I am right now.  That doesn't mean I'm not trying to grow as a person (currently working on being gentle and not harsh in my words with others) but I am comfortable who I am.  I don't want to look, talk, or think like anybody else.  There is such freedom in acceptance.
7.  I really enjoyed these two articles:
*When you hit a tree, get back in the car-God Centered Mom
*How To Be a Good Mom On a Bad Day-Inspired to Action
Sometimes you need to forgive yourself and sometimes you need to plan for the worst.
8.  Like I said before, life would be easy if it weren't for relationships.  Reminding myself this week that parenting is a process and that God uses their relationships to help mold them.  Some people are learning not to be so bossy and some people are learning to include a younger sibling that just wants to be like his big brother. 

9.  The jelly beans are almost gone and I refuse to buy more.  (Why is my way of getting rid of candy to eat it all in one day instead of throwing it away? Or just not eating it?  When it comes to sweets I have absolutely zero will power.) I made the chocolate chip cookies instead of freezing cookie dough that I could eat for the next week.  My quilt is pinned and ready for me to attempt to quilt it.  We dyed eggs, hunted eggs, dyed more eggs, celebrated the risen Christ, ate a delicious lunch, watched Bubba win and cry, and went back to school.  The Birdhouse had a good week.

10.  How can anyone who watches Frozen Planet not believe God is the Creator?  There is no way that all of those animals and their intricate life patterns "just happened".  Our God is amazing.

Ten on Tuesday

1. Are you annoyed with me and my blogging or lack there of?  I am.  I even did my post last week and then didn't post it because I was annoyed with it.  Sometimes I can go too deep into the blog world and feel insignificant on my little blog. (There are so many blogs.  Like a bazillion, which is my favorite number. I try to only stay close to the ones I have always read but you know it's a slippery slope.) Then I remember that this is the way I want it.  Small and only for the people who are supposed to read it.  So if you are still reading this, thanks.

2.  I was talking with my Bible study last night about how life would be easy if it weren't for relationships.  It would also be terribly lonely.  God designed us to live in community.  To be vulnerable to each other.  To encourage one another.  To share our experiences and bond over our "like broken-ness".   But relationships are hard.  Family, friends, and our church community can all be draining at times.  They can be hard work sometimes.  Sometimes they can be extremely frustrating.  I sometimes get caught up in trying to figure out why someone in my life acts the way they do, instead of loving them where they are.  Thankfully I have girlfriends who can talk me off the ledge when I am frustrated and remind me to give people grace. 

3.  I am trying to prepare my heart for Easter.  Our pastor gave us some readings to do this week and I have done a couple of them.  Emory said the Easter story scares her.  I told her that it's the most important story the Bible tells us because without the Resurrection nothing else matters.  The gospel story is Jesus dying on the cross for my sins and then being raised from the dead. Without it, I have no hope.  What joy I have in knowing that my Saviour is alive and sitting with his Father in my eternal home.  (I also have joy that Emory knows what Easter means and that she was thinking about what actually happened.)

                                 

4.  Spring break at my house starts with spring cleaning.  I started with Emory's room.  Em is a borderline hoarder/bag lady.  I watch enough Hoarders: Buried Alive to know that if I cleaned it for her she would just junk it up again, so I made it a team project.  We went through every drawer and shelf and filled an entire bag of clothes to donate.  Then it was her turn to vacuum. She was really freaked out when she found a dead roach under her bed and her room has been clean ever since.  Mission accomplished.

5.  We are not going anywhere for spring break.  We could have gone to Tybee but I really like the "break" part.  I like waking up when we want and not having to be anywhere (although we are still making it to the gym).  We did go to the Soap Box Derby on Sunday and watched the races and ate snow cones.  Monday we went to the movies.  Yesterday we had some friends over and then went out to eat.  Tomorrow we are dying Easter eggs. (We also sent Emory to Tybee with Mimi.  She is playing with the granddaughter of one of my mom's Tybee friends and having special Mimi time.) 

6.  One of the things I like most about baseball is getting to spend time with people I don't run into in my circle of gym-school-church.  Ballpark socializing.  I feel like I can totally reconnect with people in one game and become close after a season together.  You can really get alot of catching up done in 5 innings. 

7. I took the kids to see Mirror Mirror.  It was visually stunning. The costumes were insanely beautiful.  I love Julia Roberts and she was a wonderful, wicked Queen.  I almost had words with some elderly people, but I refrained.  There were only two other people, besides my crew, right up until the time the movies started. At the last minute an elderly couple came in.  Only seven seats taken in the entire theatre and guess where these two sit? Directly in front of Jay and me.  Why??? Are people after my good time at the movies?  I didn't say anything (maybe some muttering under my breath that they didn't hear anyway) but I wasn't feeling bad about rattling around in my purse to give Packy jelly beans.  (Go see this movie!)

8.  Are you watching Frozen Planet?  It's so good and I am obsessed.  Jay studied the Arctic and Antarctica last quarter so it was fun to watch him see all the animals he studied.  Who ever heard of a Narwhal?  I had never heard of this unicorn dolphin thing, but Jay knew all about it.

9. Another reason I haven't blogged (maybe the real reason) is that I have been obsessively quilting.  I am nothing if not obsessive but this has been on my list of things to learn since I got married.  My absolute favorite wedding present was a quilt from one of my mom's friends.  Her mom made them and she gave them as presents.  I have used it for concerts, play dates at the park, inside forts, and picnics for 15 years.  I finally decided to learn how to do it and I have jumped in with both feet.  (If you have been reading this blog for an extended period of time I will confess that this is the same quilt I cut out at Tybee 2 summers ago.)  I'll show you a picture when I finish. 

9.  So Emory is at Tybee with my mom.  She has already made a rag quilt.  My mom and I are not good at playing.  She is good at teaching. Ask any kid who has been to the beach with one of my kids and my mom (yes, she even takes friends) and they will tell you they learned manners and how to ___________ (fish, paint, make jewelry, sew).   My mom is talented.  This weekend she wanted to teach me about flower arranging so I helped her arrange the Palm Sunday flowers for First Presbyterian.  When I was younger I didn't want to learn anything so I didn't let her teach me.  Now I am grateful and love spending time with her and learning.   I also love all the things my children know because she is always teaching them.

10.  I. Can't. Stop. Eating. Cookie Dough. And. Jelly Beans. 

11.  Thankfully, these songs are helping me to run after I work out. (Sometimes I dance while I run.  If my hands are over my head on Forsyth Road, I don't have a cramp.  I'm dancing and the song said to put your hands in the air. This is only if it's not for time, of course.)

       *Give Me All Your Luvin'/Madonna feat. Nicki Manaj and M.I.A

       *Turn Me On/David Guetta and Nicki Manaj

       *Good Feeling/Flo Rida