Ten on Tuesday

I actually wrote most of my post on Tuesday.  I was going to tell you how I was being followed by a black cloud.  How I was fighting for joy, despite doing the things that keep me emotionally, spiritually, and physically balanced.  How I have a stye in my eye, a rash on my neck, and an iPhone that is shattered because Packy tripped and slammed it on a rock.  I was going to tell you how I threw a hissy fit at my kids (complete with kicking a wall) and told them I hope Santa brings them nothing for Christmas and the guilt that followed.  Then I was going to tell you that I took Packy to Build-a-Bear Workshop to buy his prize for quitting sucking his thumb and how much he loves the dog he bought.  And then how I busted him sucking his thumb a couple of days later and that he confessed, "I've been sucking it the whole time."  On and on went my woes.  Jason was concerned.  My mom was concerned.  But this morning something happened.  I started tearing up.  Flooded with emotion.  And I realized that when Justin Beiber singing Christmas songs makes me this emotional, hormones are probably to blame.

So why don't I just tell you what I am grateful for.

1.  My family.  I have an amazing husband.  He continues to be a rock for me and an awesome dad to our kids.  My kids are continuing their duty as tiny sanctifiers in my life.  Ever reminding me how selfish and powerless I am.  They push me to my breaking point, which leads to prayer (most of the time).  But when they get along and enjoy each other it gives me the most happiness. I also have an awesome mom, dad, and sister.  They have taught me unconditional love and make me laugh so hard.  (I could go on and on about each one of them but I can't make this too sappy.)  I also have an awesome "by marriage" family and I love them too. 

2.  My church.  Our pastor came to see Packy and 2 other children from our church in their 4k Thanksgiving program.  We didn't know he was coming.  It meant the world to those littlest sheep in his flock.  I love the community that is forming with old members and new members.  How the moms a few years ahead of me are such an amazing and encouraging resource. How it is starting to feel like family.

3.  My gym.  I know you might think I am weird about my gym but it is really like a family(sometimes complete with sibling-like irritation).  I spend alot of time with these people and really care about them. Tonight we went to a college basketball game together.  One of our members is an assistant coach and he fed us dinner and supplied us with tickets.  It was alot of fun and I don't know of any other gyms that have this same kind of atmosphere.  It just feels like family.

4.  My AA family.  All kinds of people, from all different walks of life.  Loving, encouraging, supportive. They listen to me laugh and more often listen to me cry, like a baby, and I never have tissues.  Someone else always does.  Again, like family.   I love you all.

5.  I am a blessed girl.  I love my new birdhouse (and if you send me a Christmas card, I have a new address).  I love our kid's school. I love fall trees. I love my life.  Everything about it, right down to my wonky car.

Happy Thanksgiving!

love payton.

Fun Friday

Here are few things that are making me happy today.
1.  Packy scored his first goal yesterday and this is how he felt:

2.  Downy Unstopables.  They make our clothes smell so good. 

3.  This video that makes me laugh.


4.  Packy is on a Thanksgiving tear.  I have these turkey hands taped all over my house.

5.  Someone is quite the actress in our house.  She did an awesome job in her class play.

6.  Christmas miracles.  Guess whose window decided to start rolling down again?  Yea!

7.  And this video.  I think the video is funny but my dad imitating the video is even funnier.   I don't have a video of my dad, so I laugh thinking about him when I watch this.

Ten on Tuesday

1.  Guess who is playing soccer?  He is so excited.  This is his first activity.  He has sat through countless hours of gymnastics, karate, baseball, and other activities his siblings were participating in and  now it's his turn.  He is really excited about having some "equipment" and a uniform.  His first game was yesterday and he did alot of running and jumping around and some actual kicking. 

2.  Packy is in the second phase of "Operation Quit Thumb Sucking".  He is now going to sleep without the THUM painted on his fingers.  The prize for quitting for an extended period of time is a trip to Build a Bear Workshop so he is working really hard and doing a great job.  He wants to get a stuffed spider.  I doubt they have those.

3.  Yesterday I walked through the high school area of the campus of our school.  Teenagers everywhere.  I had on sunglasses so I could stare at them. Teenager years are tough.  I struggled with who I was in high school.  My desire for Christ and Christian friends was in a constant struggle with my desire to party and fit in with the cool kids.  The result was feeling like I didn't belong in any group.  Guilt when I was partying, and fake when I was at youth group.  Today I feel like I belong.  I have a sense of community with the people in my life.  I belong at my church, at our school, at the gym.  This sense of belonging comes from putting my security in Christ.  When I am secure in belonging to Him, then I feel the freedom to be myself, and then I can put my authentic self out there in the world.  If I am trying to please other people first I am never going to measure up.  Putting your security in Christ is extremely freeing and something I pray often for, for my kids.

4.  We sold our candy to the dentist.  I was estimating that each kid had about 2 or 3 pounds at the most.  I even told them I would match whatever they got.  Imagine my surprise when each bag weighed in at 7 pounds.  Fourteen pounds of candy!!! That is way too much candy.  They have not missed the candy at all and have not bothered the one who kept his.  The cool thing was that they had veterans there and we got to sign cards that they send with the candy to the troops.  Thank you Operation Gratitude!  (And they gave us light up toothbrushes.  Score.)

5.  Macon is gorgeous right now.  I love Fall and the colorful leaves. Just gorgeous colors. I ride around and point out different trees to my kids.  Did I mention that I am becoming my mother? 

6.  Jason and I have never lived in a house with a working fireplace, until now.  I love everything about a fireplace.  The sight, the sound, and the smell.  It's so peaceful.  Just another reason I know God saved this house just for us.  He does care about the details of our lives and gives us the desires of our hearts even when we deserve nothing.  Overwhelming gratitude.

7.  Yesterday, I heard two different people, in two very different situations, talk about not being ruled by your emotions.  That you should act on faith and not on feelings.  Feelings can often lead you down the wrong path.  Feelings can trick you. Robert J. Morgan says in The Red Sea Rules, " Don't trust your emotions, and never be controlled by them.  We're to walk by faith, not by feelings.  Sometimes we must choose an attitude that's contrary to the way we feel."  That can be really hard.  Especially when I feel like someone has wronged me.  Or when I feel that I deserve something.  God does not change.  When I feel like He isn't handling something I can look to the Bible and remind myself of who He is.  By hanging on to His unchanging characteristics I can live without being ruled by my everchanging emotions.

8.  Did you know that the Keebler elves have hijacked the Girl Scouts Samoa's recipe?  They are called Coconut Dreams and they are pretty darn close to the original.  I made these from scratch one time and it was over a two hour process.  Good but very labor intensive.These will work just fine for me.

9.  Going along with #7 is to look to see how God has been faithful in the past and applying that to my current situation.  I can remember so many times I thought I was in a hole I could never get out of.  How many times I gave up on helping Jay.  How many times I just quit trying.  God took care of every situation.  Why would He decide to leave me high and dry this time?  Now this doesn't mean He is going to do what I want.  It just means He is in control.  Not me.  He is faithful to me. 

10.  Look at that footwork.

Ten on Tuesday

1.  I feel great today.  Jason took the kids to school and I got back in the bed  (I did make them breakfast)and slept.  Then I had a massage.  Last week I was anxious about my crazy weekend and wondering how I was going to feel post-Halloween.  I knew I would be exhausted so I booked a massage and it gave me something to look forward to.  It was a brilliant plan if I do say so myself.
2.  We got home late from a Halloween party last night and Emory had a break down.  She asked me, in a nonchalant way, if I would email her teacher and let her know she was going to be late for school because she needed to sleep in. Excuse me? No.  But my friends do it all the time. Really? No. It was when Jason and I started laughing at her request that the screaming started.  She was asleep about 8 minutes later.  Too much candy, too much fun.
3.  I have had to eat Tums for the past four nights.  I can't stop eating candy and it's making my stomach ache. Sad right? Moderation has never been my thing.  Fortunately for me, I showed my kids the Operation Gratitude video and explained how dentists will buy back their Halloween candy and they want to do it.  (I think you get a dollar per pound and they send it to the troops.) Well, two of them want to do it.  I am so excited.  This candy has got to get out of my house.The one who has his dad's hoarding tendencies is keeping every bit of his. 
4.  Last week we had some lying happening in the birdhouse.  Lying is something that is not tolerated here.  If you get busted lying you are in ginormous trouble.  One person lied to get out of perceived trouble.  The other lied to impress a friend.  I probably let too much slide around my house but not this.  I lived a lying life too long and started at a young age.  The road that starts off lying never ends well.  It was a good teaching moment.  The one who lied to get out of trouble had to look up a bunch of verses that speak to how God feels about being deceitful, write them down, and then explain to me God's feelings about lies.  The other thing I emphasized was that the trouble you get in for lying is always worse than whatever you were trying to cover up with the lie.
5.  The person who lied to impress a friend had to discuss how to live an authentic life with me.  If you lie about who you are, then you are not happy with who God made. As a person who tried to be so many different people for a long time, I know the freedom that comes from just being who you are.  People don't like fake. I don't know if men play this game, but I know women do.  It's hard to be what you think people want you to be.  Peace comes from accepting who God made you to be and trusting Him for your security, not other people. 
6. My go to line is, "Hold on".  I say it all the time to each person in my family. 
7.  I'm just going to put it out there that, for the most part, I don't like field trips.  I feel no guilt or shame. My kids act weird and I have to make small talk which results in me saying some stupid stuff.  I think one a year for each kid is plenty and I have already been on 2, technically.

8.  Even if you hate Facebook, you have to admit that the day after Halloween is the best day to look at it.
9.  I survived my weekend by taking it one event at a time.  I knew that I would get nothing done at the house and that was going to have to be OK.  I really tried to be present and in the moment for each event and I really had a good time.  I got to catch up with family and friends and eat lots of candy.  I think if I had tried to get ahead of myself, I would have panicked.  (Saturday I ran a 5k at 8am, went to a birthday party at 9:30am, went to another birthday party at 11am for 3 hours, and then went to a Halloween party at 5pm.  Sunday was busy too.  And Monday.  I'm starting to get tired again.)

10.   We had so much fun trick or treating last night.  I could try to tell you how excited and cute Packy was jumping off the back of a hayride and running full blast to each house, but you just had to be there. His tiny blue Spiderman butt was about the cutest thing I'd ever seen.
11.  I almost forgot to tell you this.  I had a Halloween freak out.  I washed a roach.  I don't know if the roach was is in the dirty clothes basket and went in with the clothes or if he crawled into the washing machine.  All I know is when I was taking the clothes and putting them in the dryer I noticed a body, his wings and legs all separated during the wash.  Guh-ross!  Do these things happen to other people or just me?