Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Ten on Tuesday

1.  I have been thinking alot lately.  This is a scary place to be for me because my mind is not right.  Thinking usually leads to a checklist of my failures.  I'm not a good mom.  My house is a mess.  I could be doing more.  Other people do it better than me.  This checklist of failures can spiral into self pity and then depression.  Sometimes I can catch it and sometimes I don't.  Sometimes close friends can point it out and this is helpful.  If I can identify it then I can get on my knees and pray about it. 
2.  My thought is that the "stinking thinking" has come out of having alot on my plate.  Moving, going to help my sister with her new baby in a couple of weeks, being robbed (yes, we were robbed), and just trying to keep up with my kids and their school work (multiplication facts and Jay are really trying) has been pulling my brain into the future.  I am worrying about things that haven't even happened yet.  Staying in today is something I am constantly working on.  What can I do today?  Can anything actually be done about that problem today? If the answer is no, then why am I wasting time worrying about it?  Today I will do one thing at a time and not worry about the rest.  I'm not in control anyway, God is.
3.  So last week we got robbed.  The sad and embarrassing part is that we didn't know until the next day.  We came home Wednesday night from church and my jewelry box was open and a gold box was in my sink. A bracelet my grandmother gave me (antique that I wore on my wedding day) was missing. I immediately thought my 3 year old monkey had done it.  Jason and I grilled him into a Gitmo style confession that he had lost my bracelet.  I figured it would turn up.  The next day we were going to see "the new house" and I wanted to take my camera.  It was not on the hook where I hang it, most of the time.  Jason said it was there Wednesday at lunch for sure because he hung his coat on it.  So after looking at my jewelry box again and noticing other things were missing we realized someone had been in our house.  No forced entry.  We left the backdoor unlocked.  Creepy feeling to know that someone was in your house.  They did not steal anything else.  Just my jewelry and my camera.  Ugh.  Jason is happy I requested renters insurance the day we closed on our house and started renting it back.
4.  Balance is key to everything for me.  In recovery there is a question you can ask yourself to gage where you are....Are you on the beam? So here is the beam.
On the beam principles:                                      Off the beam symptoms:
Acceptance                                                           Rejection
Honesty                                                                 Dishonest
Faith                                                                      Fear
Courage                                                                Frightened
Considerate                                                           Inconsiderate
Humility                                                                 Pride
Giving                                                                   Greedy
Calm                                                                     Anger               Patience                                                                Impatient
Tolerance                                                              Intolerant
Forgiveness                                                           Resentment
Love                                                                     Hate
Self - Forgetfulness                                               Self-Pity
Humility                                                                 Self-Justification
Modesty                                                                Self-Importance
Self - Forgiveness                                                  Self-Condemnation
Trust                                                                      Suspicion
Moderation                                                            Gluttony
Action                                                                    Sloth
Grateful                                                                  Envy

5.  I need to get back on the beam.
6.  A girl I have known as long as I can remember died this weekend.  I knew her playing softball and just growing up in Macon.  She left behind a husband and 2 small children.  She died in a single car wreck on Saturday morning.  I have no idea what actually happened (the cause of her accident) but it was a wake up call for me. I am not a good driver and actively use my phone while in the car. Despite my devotion to Oprah I never signed her no texting while driving pledge.  I will now.  I have made a promise to myself to put my phone down and pay attention while driving.  It's not worth it. 
7.  God gave us such a gift this weekend.  Sunny and 70 degrees Saturday and Sunday was just what I needed.  We took the kids to the river and enjoyed the fresh air.  It's amazing what a day like that can do for me. 
8.  I'm not telling you it is going to be easy.  I'm telling you it's going to be worth it.
I love this.  I need it plastered all over my house.  I need it plastered all over my kids.
9.  I am totally in love with pinterest.  It's a place I can make an inspiration board and look at tons of other people's inspirations.  It is addictive.  It can also jam up your computer.
10.   It's amazing what my kids can do and say when I actually slow down and pay attention to them. 


Anonymous said...

Hang in there beautiful girl! Everyone of us with any children have been where you are, except you know the battle you are fighting and the ONE who fights with and for you! You are dearly loved by many of us! pat

HJW said...

Well, this post couldn't have come at a better time for me...I am SO off the balance beam!

I would like to thank you for ACCEPTING me as a friend, being CONSIDERATE of my feelings and needs, GIVING your whole morning to keep MJ, PATIENT when I wasn't sure what our plans were that day, LOVING to my girls, not just "offering" to help but ACTING on your offer while you were having one of "those" weeks, and finally, for your SELF-FORGETFULNESS in making two batches of brownies for me & even cutting them and putting them on a pretty platter!!!

You're looking pretty good on the beam to me...