Tuesday, August 21, 2012

Ten on Tuesday

Do you hear that?  It's quiet at my house.  Ahhhh.  At least until 12:30 when my kindergartener comes home.  I love that our school does a half day for kindergarten.  More time with my Pac and I don't care what you think.  He's my baby.
1.  A new school year totally trumps a new calendar year at my house.  I totally operate on a school calendar, so for me, last Tuesday was New Year's Eve.  I love the feeling of everyone getting back into routines.  Summer is great but when it's time to go back, we I am ready.  Alarm clocks are set, new supplies bought, and visions of how I am going to stay on top of things are dancing in my head.  Just like all good resolutions, mine are sure to be broken quickly.
2.  One of my goals for this year was to continue (Betsy did this with the kids at Tybee) to read The Gospel Story Bible for a morning devotion. I did it one morning, got frustrated that no one was listening, slammed the book down and told my kids "I give up on y'all."  That is so gospel of me isn't it?  The gospel, where Jesus takes all of my sin on himself, and dies a death I deserve so that I can have eternal life.  But I tell my kids I'm giving up on them. Ouch. I did go back and apologize to them.  I did tell them that I would never give up on them.  But I also told them that God never gives up on his children and how thankful I am for that.  Even when we think we want Him to give up on us He won't.  (And for those of you who understand how it feels to actually want God to turn you loose and then have Him redeem the mess that you have made of yourself, are you with me in praising His holy name? Every single day.)
3.  I can sometimes be overwhelmed at the start of the new school year.  This article really inspired me to make good decisions for me and my family.  That doesn't just mean cutting out the junk and the time wasters.  This means really thinking about where I am putting my energy.  If I have a goal to help other addicts, but I'm so busy that I'm not going to 12 step meetings or have any time to spend talking with people, then something has to go.  I think this sometimes is hard when it comes to church.  If I am active in my Sunday School, participating in a small group, attending Bible study on Wednesday night, in addition to Sunday worship and my quiet time in the morning, then I probably don't need to join another study just because they are offering one.  Now that is just what is best for me.  Everyone has to decide where God is calling them to serve and be used.
I'm Done Living a WalMart Life.
4.  Speaking of the junk, I was a 90210 junkie in high school. I loved it had a serious crush on Dylan McKay.  (Both Jay and Emory have scars on their eyebrows and I call them their Dylan McKay scars.)
All that to say, I love these new Old Navy commercials.  They make me smile.  Especially Andrea Zuckerman.  (And Dylan.) (Don't you think Jason looked a little like Jason Priestley when we first started dating?)

5.  So we are still reading Harry Potter.  (YES!)  We finished the first two books and watched the first two movies.  I could have hired a marching band to parade up and down my driveway when Jay, my non-reader, said, "Mom, I liked the movie but the book was better."  (YES!)  The book is always better. And just to put a cherry on top, Jay is reading....because he wants to.  It makes my heart smile when I see him bring his book with him to the table to eat lunch.
6.  So You Think You Can Dance has really bummed me out this year.  They have been only given one night a week (instead of two like previous years) and the new format stinks.  Betsy is in Connecticut with no TV and although Jason was watching with me I had a frustration that I needed to share.  Enter social media.  I have 10 tweets under my handle.  There are 4 retweets, 2 tweets that Packy (?) sent, and 4 that I actually sent.  Three are about SYTYCD.  I needed to connect with other people who were frustrated and Twitter did that for me. I embrace that we live in an instant society and sometimes I like it. (That might not mean anything to you.  Especially you  Dad.)
7.  Packy and his bestest friend are in class together this year and it makes me so happy.  Packy loves kindergarten and has the biggest smile on his face when I pick him up.  He has an amazing teacher who also taught Jay kindergarten (at a different school).  She reminded me that Packy was born when Jay was in her class.  So happy to have our sweet school and sweet friends.
8.  Since I haven't posted in a while, I didn't really get to talk about my re-entry from Tybee.  It's always a little hard.  Hard for me because I have to get used to seeing all of the things at my house that need my attention.  I handled this by taking the kids to the pool as often as I could, with a good book.  It's hard for Jason because he has the house on lockdown in July.  No lights on, doors shut, everything put away.  When we come home it takes him a while to adjust to what actual people living in his house looks like.  And it looks messy.  (One of those new school resolutions is to have the house picked up before Jason gets home.)  It's also hard to back into the gym routine.  It actually hurts because I have basically given up trying to exercise at the beach (except for some spotty running).  I like to milk my "re-entry" and by the end of the second week, Betsy was over it.  She informed me that I had been home 2 weeks and was "entered" and it was time move on.  So, I did.
9.  A lot can happen in one month.  I didn't go to any 12 step meetings so I was really ready when I came home to get back into some good habits.  (I usually do go and I should have gone this year.)  When I got back I found out that a couple of people I knew had relapsed.  People who had years of sobriety.  It was a huge wake up call.  I had gotten to place where I had taken my sobriety for granted because I don't crave using anymore. This is scary for an addict.  If I am relying on myself and have an attitude of "I've got this!" then I am not in recovery.  I might still be sober, but I am not in recovery.  This attitude also leads to pride and looking down on others who are still struggling to get sober.  I have to remind myself that if I start using and drinking again, I could end up just as bad off as the person I am looking down on.  Just because I have a nice clean house and kids dressed in private school uniforms doesn't protect me from complete self-destruction.  Working with people who are trying to get sober can be frustrating and sad, as well as extremely fufilling, but it always reminds me that staying sober is alot easier than getting sober.
10.  Since I posted Jason's 90210 picture, I should tell you that we celebrated our 20th high-school reunion the night after I got back from Tybee.  It was so fun to see so many of the people that we graduated with.  I would say for the most part that people are happier 20 years after high school than they were when they were in it.  I know I am.  I wouldn't go back to high school for anything.  Some of my insecutities crept back in a little, and I realized I am better in a small group than in a big crowd.  Enter the smoking section.  No wonder I like the smoking section. It's a smaller crowd where I can actually hear what people are saying (versus inside the party where the music is pumping).  I tried to get Jason to agree that we should smoke for high school times sake.  He said no.  Always the voice of reason, that Jason.  So, we just hung out with our friends who are still smoking and enjoyed some second hand smoke. (We have been nicotine free for 3 years.) (I still miss smoking.)  (Yes, I know it's gross.)
11.  My editor did not like me ending on a smoking note so I am trying to think of something else to tell you...about her.  She is getting really good at dealing with mice and snakes.  And she has the most precious girls.  Overall, my Tybee pictures this year stink, but I do love this one of some morning sister love.

1 comment:

Mandy S said...

It was really good seeing you and Jason at the reunion. I am much happier now than when I was in high school, and I'm glad to know that y'all are too.
Also glad you're smoke free!! 5 years for me last month, and I still feel like a smoker who just hasn't had a cigarette in a really long time.