Ten on Tuesday in NYC

I am happy to announce that baby Lolly has made her way into the world!  

1.  I watched this sweet angel enter the world.  Although I have had three of my own children, I have never watched someone I know have a baby.  Watching my sister have her third baby was an amazing experience.  What a miracle the birthing process is!  I was reduced to tears as I watched this tiny girl enter the world.  It's crazy how one day I am kissing Betsy's belly and the next day kissing an eternal  being.  I love how creative God was in the creation process.  It was so funny to look at her at one minute old and see how much she looks like her sisters.  She is a Norwood baby for sure.

2.  While I am in NYC helping Betsy, my mom and dad took my kids (and Jay and Emory brought friends) to Tybee.  How awesome are my parents?  They took 5 kids to the beach for a super long weekend.  It is snowing in New York.  It is in the 70s in Tybee.  As much as I long for warm weather, I would not miss the first week of Lolly's life for anything.  The reason I am here, and not my mom, is that she does not really like New York in the winter, so she sent me to help.  Getting around in really cold weather with little ones is not easy.  I think my Mom is a little jealous that she isn't getting to see Lolly right now.  Baby breath is the best and I will stick my nose as close as I can to her sweet little mouth.

3.  I am a baby person, that's a given.  I love coming to New York, that's a given.  But the real reason I wanted to come to New York was to give back.  When I went to treatment (two years ago), Betsy came and helped Jason with my family.  She also was an amazing support to Jason as he struggled to understand what was happening.  How often do you get a chance to help someone who helped you?

4.  This is my third trip to New York in 6 months.  I am starting to get to know some of Betsy's friends.  One of my favorite parts of being here is seeing these amazing women.  It helps me understand Betsy's life in the city but also encourages me to hear their wisdom.  (Kari Jo and Andrea (with her entire crew) in the same trip....could I ask for anything more?)  I have also been to BSF, a small group Bible study, and church while I've been here.  Good stuff happening in this city.

5.  New York overwhelms me.  I can look out Betsy's window and see that in one building live as many people as in my entire neighborhood.  Not just my street in Macon, but my entire extended neighborhood.  Then I look at how many buildings there are just in my immediate view.  So many people.  So many families.  Living the urban life that I know nothing about.  Well, I know a little after this experience.  I know that God calls people to live in different places and He has not called me to live here. 

6.  In Macon people have jobs.  In New York people have interesting jobs.    I love walking around and seeing all of the nannies, doormen, and security guards for killer shoe stores.   And let me assure you that there are tons of killer shoe stores.  After a week of being in New York I start to think that $200 shoes are a good deal.  Then I remember that in my life $20 shoes are a good deal.  (That was quite a tangent.)  I'll try to think of more interesting jobs later.

  7. Josie (2) is having a hard time adjusting to the new person in her family.   She is the cutest thing ever.  Like a real life cabbage patch kid.  With the temper of a UFC champion.  This new baby is really cutting into Josie's time with her mom and she does not like it.  She also does not like me if her mom is around.  If she does not like you, you know it.  She holds nothing back.  I try to appreciate her ability to not stuff her feelings.  She expresses EXACTLY how she feels.  (Good luck Betsy!)

8.  It's been a while since I did my post.  My last post prompted a call from my dad.  My dad doesn't usually call me unless he has a reason, so when I got a call and a lunch invite I thought something was up.  He said he read my post and thought I might be having a hard time.  Such a sweet Daddy!  The thing is that I can have a bad spell these days and it's OK.  I don't have to live in it.  I can get out of the dark place and not take comfort in the familiar feelings that I was used to for so many years.  I am thankful for good friends that can tell when I'm "off".  I am so thankful that the Lord pulled me out of the pit and that even if I take a pit stop I can call on my heavenly Father and keep my eyes on Him.  

9.  I am really struggling in my new camera decision.  My options are Nikon d700, Nikon d7000, or a Canon 5d Mark ii.  If you have an opinion on this please let me know.  I have read online reviews until I am cross-eyed and I can't decide.  

10.  Gretchen Mol had her baby next to Betsy.  That wouldn't happen in Macon.  

Ten on Tuesday

1.  I have been thinking alot lately.  This is a scary place to be for me because my mind is not right.  Thinking usually leads to a checklist of my failures.  I'm not a good mom.  My house is a mess.  I could be doing more.  Other people do it better than me.  This checklist of failures can spiral into self pity and then depression.  Sometimes I can catch it and sometimes I don't.  Sometimes close friends can point it out and this is helpful.  If I can identify it then I can get on my knees and pray about it. 

2.  My thought is that the "stinking thinking" has come out of having alot on my plate.  Moving, going to help my sister with her new baby in a couple of weeks, being robbed (yes, we were robbed), and just trying to keep up with my kids and their school work (multiplication facts and Jay are really trying) has been pulling my brain into the future.  I am worrying about things that haven't even happened yet.  Staying in today is something I am constantly working on.  What can I do today?  Can anything actually be done about that problem today? If the answer is no, then why am I wasting time worrying about it?  Today I will do one thing at a time and not worry about the rest.  I'm not in control anyway, God is.

3.  So last week we got robbed.  The sad and embarrassing part is that we didn't know until the next day.  We came home Wednesday night from church and my jewelry box was open and a gold box was in my sink. A bracelet my grandmother gave me (antique that I wore on my wedding day) was missing. I immediately thought my 3 year old monkey had done it.  Jason and I grilled him into a Gitmo style confession that he had lost my bracelet.  I figured it would turn up.  The next day we were going to see "the new house" and I wanted to take my camera.  It was not on the hook where I hang it, most of the time.  Jason said it was there Wednesday at lunch for sure because he hung his coat on it.  So after looking at my jewelry box again and noticing other things were missing we realized someone had been in our house.  No forced entry.  We left the backdoor unlocked.  Creepy feeling to know that someone was in your house.  They did not steal anything else.  Just my jewelry and my camera.  Ugh.  Jason is happy I requested renters insurance the day we closed on our house and started renting it back.

4.  Balance is key to everything for me.  In recovery there is a question you can ask yourself to gage where you are....Are you on the beam? So here is the beam.

On the beam principles:                                      Off the beam symptoms:
Acceptance                                                           Rejection

Honesty                                                                 Dishonest

Faith                                                                      Fear

Courage                                                                Frightened

Considerate                                                           Inconsiderate

Humility                                                                 Pride

Giving                                                                   Greedy

Calm                                                                     Anger               Patience                                                                Impatient

Tolerance                                                              Intolerant

Forgiveness                                                           Resentment

Love                                                                     Hate

Self - Forgetfulness                                               Self-Pity

Humility                                                                 Self-Justification

Modesty                                                                Self-Importance

Self - Forgiveness                                                  Self-Condemnation

Trust                                                                      Suspicion

Moderation                                                            Gluttony

Action                                                                    Sloth

Grateful                                                                  Envy

5.  I need to get back on the beam.
6.  A girl I have known as long as I can remember died this weekend.  I knew her playing softball and just growing up in Macon.  She left behind a husband and 2 small children.  She died in a single car wreck on Saturday morning.  I have no idea what actually happened (the cause of her accident) but it was a wake up call for me. I am not a good driver and actively use my phone while in the car. Despite my devotion to Oprah I never signed her no texting while driving pledge.  I will now.  I have made a promise to myself to put my phone down and pay attention while driving.  It's not worth it. 
7.  God gave us such a gift this weekend.  Sunny and 70 degrees Saturday and Sunday was just what I needed.  We took the kids to the river and enjoyed the fresh air.  It's amazing what a day like that can do for me. 
8.  I'm not telling you it is going to be easy.  I'm telling you it's going to be worth it.
I love this.  I need it plastered all over my house.  I need it plastered all over my kids.
9.  I am totally in love with pinterest.  It's a place I can make an inspiration board and look at tons of other people's inspirations.  It is addictive.  It can also jam up your computer.
10.   It's amazing what my kids can do and say when I actually slow down and pay attention to them.