Thursday, December 15, 2011

Ten on Tuesday

(Santa Pac.  My favorite Christmas decoration.  I have a poster size copy framed and I hang it each year.)
1.  School program? Check.  Church program? Check.  Class party for the class that I am the Room Mom of? Check.  Presents bought? Check.  Christmas picture taken? Check.  Office Christmas parties? Check. 
2.  Sending Christmas cards? Nope.  Elf on the Shelf? Nope.  Jesse Tree? Nope.  Advent Envelopes with 25 days of activities? Nope.  25 Christmas books wrapped and read each night? Nope.  Homemade treats for teachers? Nope.  Reindeer food individually packaged for everyone in the class? Nope.  Advent calendar where you open a window? Not even that.
Now, I am not a hater of any of these things and have done most of them in the past (Not the Elf.  That was always too much pressure).  Just not this year.  I don't know why, but it just didn't happen and I am totally OK with that.  And I do have next week to cram in some fun. 
3.  For about 2 weeks I have been living with some serious anxiety.  I wake up and my heart starts pounding.  I have just come to terms with the fact that I am always going to have anxiety and, since I am an addict, I am choosing to not medicate it away.  Not today or ever.  And you know what?  I get through it.  I pray, exercise, and journal it away.  I dance it away.  Sometimes I can cry it away.  A hot bath helps.  An iPod at the grocery store helps.  Talking with Jason helps.  Sometimes just saying something out loud takes all the power out of it.  So, I have anxiety and I am still alive.
4.  I made these "Melting Snowman" cookies for Jay's class.  They made it all the way to the carpool drop off.  Then Jay leaned over to get something and they all slid.  Breathe in. Breathe out.  I'm sorry Mama.  No big deal.  Breathe in.  Breathe out.  (This was a Pinterest project that actually wasn't that hard.   I have been burned by a cute Pinterest project many times. 3 hours and nothing to show.)
5.  Our church Christmas program was last night.  Packy decided there were too many people there and that he would be excusing himself from the role of the Frankincense bearing Wise man.  Jason tried to talk to him.  Grandmama tried to talk to him.  Jay tried.  I was the last chance sent in at the last second.  I rationalized.  I begged.  I prayed.  And then I bribed.  I will take you to the ice cream store and you can get whatever toppings you want.  He replied, OK, but I am not going to sing.  I am not going to even fake sing.  And I am not wearing the hat.  And I was good with that.  And that is what he did.  Just stood there and looked cute while the Wise man next to him was belting out every word at the top of his lungs.
6.  Emory sang in a trio.  I did not know that she had become a famous country singer (in her own mind) but she rocked it.  She put both hands of the microphone and acted like she had been on stage her whole life.  Very entertaining. 
7.  Jay played it totally safe.  He sang the songs but made sure he did not have a speaking or acting part.  He did just what he was comfortable doing without any problem.  It was so good to see him sing and smile.
8.  I spent this week spray painting some chairs white.  I think white furniture is so clean and pretty.  I can take some ugly piece of beat up furniture and once it's white, it's so pretty.  Ugly and dirty one minute and clean and white in the next. Remind you of anything?
"Come now, let us reason together," says the LORD. "Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red as crimson, they shall be like wool.
Thankful to be celebrating the birth of my Saviour.  The one who took my awful mess of a life, and through his blood, made it white as snow. 
9.  This is a great list of 12 Things Happy People Do Differently.  (Thanks Howard.)  It's funny how many of these I learned in rehab.  In case you didn't know, in rehab they don't just get you off of drugs, they teach you how to live differently.  If you don't change, you go right back to where you left off.
10.  I was in the Chick-fil-A drive thru last week, super excited about Christmas miracle (my window started rolling down again), and guess what I saw in front of me?  Another mom hanging out the door of her wonky car.  I just had to laugh.  And then I realized we drive the same car so I had to take a picture.


Dana said...

Cried and laughed on this one! Proud of PAC! Love you and your sweet family and can't wait to hear Emory..."Sang it girl",

Lori Dozier said...

Payton, I needed some serious encouragement last night when I found your blog. Couldn't stop reading for hours. Sometimes I get caught up in the mellow drama that always seems to be my life and it's hard to climb out. The holidays this year have been tough. Single parenting is for the birds and not something I bargained for. I have mommy guilt all the time. It's good to know that I'm not the only one that feels that way. I miss you and Jason in my life.... I mean where have all the good people gone? Are there any out there anymore??? Loved reading about your sweet family and husband. I'm so glad you and Jason found each other you are a beautiful couple, hold on tight to that man- he's would go to the ends of the earth for you and that's something you don't find everyday. I'm not sure how or why we drifted apart over the years, but it makes me sad:(.... so I'm reaching out.... Can we steal a few minutes while the kids are in school for some coffee? Lori Dozier