Ten on Tuesday (on Wednesday)

1.  I am sad today.  Betsy and the girls are leaving.  It has been such a fun summer and I love having Betsy around.  She makes me laugh and helps me process my crazy life.

2.  I am really going to miss Josie.  She really loves me, my car, and my house.  Last summer she was still a Mama's girl but this summer she has been Aunt Paydon's girl.  There is no other feeling like coming in to a house and a sweet 2 year old running from the other room and jumping in to your arms. 

3.  We were talking at dinner last night about how this time of year is like New Year's.  We really run by a school calendar year and it's a brand new year.  This year I am going to be more organized, involved, on top of things.  Heard that before?

4.  There is a wave of divorce right now in Macon with people my age.  It makes me very sad and especially considering all of the small children involved.  I don't know any of the details and make no judgements but I do know marriage is hard.  I have seen some marriages that have been to hell and back and stuck it out.  The difference is that these people committed their marriage to God and when it got hard, like for real, hard core hard, they got on their knees.  And they worked.  Marriage is work.  Seasons of really hard, super hard, work.  But God can repair all of the brokenness if you let Him.  After the work is the sweetness. Don't give up!

5. I am not a fancy mom.  This used to bother me and sometimes I would buy outfits that made me look like a fancy mom and I would feel uncomfortable.  In my "new life" I have become comfortable with me.  Not me trying to be somebody else.  There is such freedom in this.  So when I go to visit my children at school, I am just me, flip flops and all.

6.  Jason got an iPhone.  I don't know who is more excited. Me?  The kids?  Him?  Let's just say that we are all really excited.

7.  School is so far so good.  Emory loves everything.  Jay doesn't hate everything and that is good.  Boys don't give details about their day so it's hard to tell, but I think Jay is having a good start.

8.  One thing that I am really good at it is putting stuff in to my shopping cart and then talking myself out of it by the time I get to the register.  This can be online or brick and mortar stores.  I have to have it at the back of the store but then I realize what a waste of money it is.  I am really trying to watch what I bring in to the house.  I hate junk and we have so much junk.  I could take a bag to Goodwill daily.

9.  I will have 2 new nieces/nephews in the next six months (my s.i.l. Amanda and Betsy).  I love babies and can not wait to get my nose on some baby breath! And take some baby pictures. 

10.  Very content.  Very happy.  Right where I am right now.

Ten on Tuesday...in Tybee

It can't be Tuesday.  Really?  Are you sure?
1.  The kayaking trip was awesome.  My dad decided to sell his sea doo so we can buy some kayaks.  We went over to Little Tybee and explored this uninhabited island.  It was awesome.  Fiddler crabs everywhere.  Our next plan is to take the kids and camp over there.  It's a little hot now but early fall will be perfect. (Thanks Mom for the push to do something new.)
2.  The waves at Tybee have been insane.  Bigger than I have seen them here.  I love riding waves.  Really love it.  The thrill of catching a big wave and dropping as it crashes is awesome.  Growing up I went to St. Augustine and I rode waves with my cousin all day.  Riding waves now reminds me of being a kid. 
3.  I finished a book and cried in front of my kids.  My daughter understands this kind of crying because she recently watched a movie and cried.  The younger kids stared at me.  Sometimes I get too in to books.  Actually a lot of times.  I have to be careful.  I get sucked in and it takes over.  (Sort of like the music.)  Not confusing my emotions with the emotions of the book is something I have to guard against.  There have been times when I could not get out of bed because of a book.  So this book was emotional but I was able to separate my reality and the book.
4.  The men were here for a long weekend.  It's always more fun when they are here.  Kids are different when their dads are around.  It breaks my heart for kids who don't have a dad around for whatever reason. 
5.  We had Betsy's game night last week.  The Game of Things and Scattagories for the adults (both games have enough laughter and intensity to be fun) and Jenga and UNO for the kids.  We also had a Hide and Seek game with kids and adults.  Some adults.  The cool adults who like to play.  I really got in to the hiding.  Scrunching myself in to a tiny shelf in my mom's closet and risking roaches in the utility closet.  I would say that I won.
6.  It is really hot.  117 degree heat index today.  Hot.
7.  One good thing about Tybee is the back river.  When the beach is really crowded we go to the back river.  It is sort of like going to a lake that happens to have a strong current.  Jay likes to take a net and catch things to put in his fishing bucket.  Last week he caught a baby puffer fish.  It was so cool. (Jay did a school project on puffer fish a couple of years ago and we have had one hanging in our kitchen ever since.)
8.  My dad is really good at finding sharks teeth.  He has a bowl with hundreds of them that he has collected over the years.  I can find them too.  I found 2 on Sunday.  (Jason found one too.  He is so good at random stuff.  Remember?)  I think it makes my dad proud that I am good at finding them too.  People say that not only do I look like my dad but that my personality is like his as well. In some ways. 

9.  My favorite kind of ice cream is chocolate and peanut butter.  My brother in law loves to eat. He hates germs. In order to save my ice cream...

It worked.

10.  My very first best friend was Hope.  The other day we watched some of the home movies that we had converted from film to VHS and there was Hope.  We were little kids playing in the snow and sticking our tongues out at the camera.  The fun part was showing that to Emory because her best friend is Hope's daughter, Lola Grace.  Hope's mom has a house at Tybee and that's why my mom is here.  Three generations of best friends.  Spending summers at the beach.  Does it get any better?

Ten on Tuesday... in Tybee

1. Emory has gone from not riding a bike at all to riding all over Tybee.  You can get anywhere on Tybee by bike so it is very helpful to upgrade her from a scooter or being pulled to being a full rider.  When we go to the beach we put chairs on our backs and babies in bike carriers and then pile all of the beach stuff on top of the babies.  It makes it so much easier to not have to park a car and it's not that far.  Emory is now riding to the beach or grocery store or wherever I go. 
2.  Jason and I went white water rafting last weekend with the alumni group from my treatment center.  It is such a fun group.  The water was freezing and our guide had fun guessing how we all knew each other (35 people). (Before we told him he had offered us weed, Crown Royal, "happy pills" and moonshine.  "No thanks.  We've all had enough.") We had good food, a nice hot tub, an awesome cabin, and some insane Tennessee fireworks.  The stories you hear around the fire with this group are always entertaining.
3.  This is Packy and my song:

I have a special Packy.

I keep him in my pocket.

And when I want to kiss him.

I take him out and kiss him. (or eat him, or moody him, or whatever I want to him)

4.  I love making drip castles. 
5.  We have an outside shower at Tybee. I love being outside and showering. 
6.  On Friday we are kayaking to little Tybee.  It's a half day trip.  No kids.   
7.  I love back to school shopping.  New uniforms, new backpacks, new tennis shoes. 
8.  It's a lot harder to make a list of 10 things every week then you might think. 
9.  Emory and Jay just got their class assignments.  Emory was separated from her two best friends.  She likes all of the girls in her new class and knows she will see her old friends on the playground.  I hate when they take stuff better than I do.  I know God has a plan and His will is better and bigger than mine but I was upset over the class list?   I am excited about this new year and can't wait for Em to get to know some more girls.
10.  Things that make me laugh on YouTube:  double rainbow guy, flip flop guy, and the donkey parasailing in Russia.

Ten on Tuesday...in Tybee

1.  We just rolled in to Tybee for the month.  All of the girls and all of the kids.  Everyone survived the trip down. 
2.  A DVD player is a must for me for this trip.  I don't have a car with a built in DVD but for my own sanity I travel with one.  Jay and Emory watched Robots and Bolt.  Packy watched about half of Finding Nemo.
3.  I listened to Jack Johnson and Coldplay.  These are relaxing CDs for me as I drive with 3 kids.  Plus, Chris Martin sings to me.
4.  Right now Betsy is asking all of the kids what they want to do this summer and writing it down on a master sheet. So far we have ride bikes, learn to swim, whipped cream fight, make a picture frame, water balloon fight, finish a quilt....  She always has high expectations for summer vacation.  Lots of learning. (See #6.  I feel the same way Betsy does right now around Memorial Day.)
5.  One of my secrets is that someone is pregnant and it's not me.  Yea!
6.  The summer is half way over and I am right where I usually am.  The "plans" I made have been thrown out the window.  I am back to waking up and figuring out what the day is going to bring.  This is not how I like to operate. I like a plan.  It makes me feel in control.  Of course I am not in control of anything.  I do not have the whole wide world in my hands, someone else does. 
7.  It's hard to write this when I am trying to watch the series finale of The Hills.  Stephanie Pratt just had the most ridiculous conversation about not drinking after she ordered a Pepsi at a bar.  So dumb.  I guess the writer couldn't find a more natural way to discuss addiction.  Lame. This is getting more painful by the second. ("I think I'm going to get out of here and move to Europe."  "Europe?  Do you know anybody out there?"  Out there?  These people are so dumb.)
8.  I do not try to hide my bad TV watching.  The Real Housewives of "Anywhere"?  I'll watch it.  Not in one sitting but Bravo gives me so many chances to watch.  I really can't wait for the new season of Rachel Zoe.  I die.
9.   The other night we were hanging out with my my family on my Mom's patio.  Jay was sitting with the adults talking.  I saw a glimpse of him just being him.  Relaxed and not "on".  Not trying to impress or make anyone laugh.  Just being Jay.  When Jason and I were talking about it later that night it made me cry.  It is so rare to see him comfortable being himself.  
10.  This same patio night my family started a conversation about what blood type everyone was.  This progressed to who can roll their tongue and who can flip their tongue over.  And from there we started with the weirdness.  Mainly Jason and Lee.  Jason has these "wings" that he pops out of his back and he can clap with one hand (Jay can do the one handed clap).  Lee can pick his nose with his tongue.  Really.  And with that I have nothing more to say.
OK- so the last 5 seconds of The Hills was the best. 

Ten on Tuesday

Is it really Tuesday again?

1. Jay is at baseball camp at Mercer this week. Emory is at tennis camp at Healy Point. For Jay this is huge. He had separation anxiety for a long time. Like until last year maybe. This made birthday parties, sports, basically anything new very difficult for him. And by him I also mean for me. I didn't know how to handle it. Why wouldn't you want to go play with your friends? Fear crippled him. So when Jason told me that he just said "Bye Dad" and went to his camp I cried. Tears of joy of how far the Lord has brought him.

2. Emory would go to a camp where she knew no one and they spoke another language and not think twice about it. Emory's attitude is more of "why wouldn't they want to play with me?"

3. They are in camps because my vision of taking it slow this summer was blown on day 3 of vacation with the "I'm boreds". I'm bored? Hi ho hi ho it's off to camp you go. All day camp.

4. I had the best time in Madison, MS this past weekend with my family. We went to my cousin's wedding. We did not take our children but some of my cousins did. It was so fun to get to know these children some, of whom I have never met. It's funny to see the little personalities that I remember from their parents when they were young.

5. It's not terrible twos. It's terrible threes. At least that is my experience. Packy is starting to show signs of this. Mom says I made him rotten.

6. I am reading a book. Yea! It's been so long. I am reading The Crowning Glory of Calla Lilly Ponder by Rebecca Wells. She wrote The Divine Secrets of the Ya Ya Sisterhood. I love her books. She really gets how hot it is in the south.

7. Just a reminder that my sister is still the best. I can't wait for her to be here with her tiny people in July. Every year we spend a month in Tybee at it's so much fun. Communal living. Sharing the load. Lots of fun!

8. I just signed up for a Photoshop class. Trying to learn something new. It's good to have motivation and a brain that can still learn. A little over a year ago I had neither.

9. I am happy. Do I say that every Tuesday? I am living a life I never thought possible. Free from the guilt and shame that used to weigh so heavy. Able to deal with life without shutting down or numbing it away. Acceptance that I am God's child and that He is in control is the most freeing thing that has ever happened to me. His will be done, not mine because mine is limited to my small perspective, everyday.

10. I miss my gym when I am out of town.

Ten on Tuesday

1. My goal is to post more on this blog than Ten on Tuesday. The problem is that Tuesday keeps coming around so fast and I feel like I am keeping up if I can at least get a list up. But I am working on writing more.

2. I spent 10 days at the beach. I had a great time with the kids. I could have stayed longer but I missed my man and my home. I am a homebody and need a routine. My clipboard was calling my name. It needed a new list with some boxes to check off.

3. I have new laminated routine sheets for Jay and Emory. They have morning and evening routines (brush teeth, make bed, clean room, etc.) and daily activities including journaling, reading a chapter of their chapter books, and some kind of math. This is for my benefit so they don't watch TV all summer. Jay hates this plan. Emory likes it.

4. I was back from the gym this morning before my people even got up.

5. I took 762 pictures at the beach. I don't think they are very good. There are so many things to remember and I always forget one thing and it screws up my picture. Practice practice practice.

6. I started my quilt. So far so good.

7. My recycling consists of lots of black garbage bags in my garage. Jason says I need a better system.

8. I don't kill roaches. Macon has lots of roaches. One was upstairs the other night and he flew while Jason was trying to kill it. Flew on to his leg. Can you imagine? I locked myself in the bathroom once I saw that thing take flight.

9. If only my follow through was as good as the plans I come up with.

10. Today is a good day. I am content with where I am right now. Perfect? No. Where God wants me to be? Yes.

Ten on Tuesday

1. I love the beach. Love, love, love. My children play great at the beach. They make friends and ride waves. Basically they leave me alone and don't say Mama a thousand times a minute.

2. I hate hearing Mama a thousand times a minute.

3. I have 12 tan lines. It's looks ridiculous. It is a combination of totally different bathing suits and my haphazard way of applying sunscreen. It irritates Jason because he is very methodical about sunscreen application, along with most other things. Remember the dishwasher?

4. I loved the special time I got to spend with my new future pastor, his amazing wife, and their precious four children (who also happen to be our good friends). Seven kids at the beach may sound like a lot but it was relatively easy. Pictures to come.

5. My sister just got a new apartment in NYC. I found it for her on the Internet and it is TWICE as big as her current apartment. Sounds good until you realize her current apartment is about 650 square feet.

6. Popsicles and watermelon are my summer staples.

7. I'm hungry=I'm bored 9 times out of 10. (Someone just told me this nonsense. My answer? Go outside.)

8. Every single person in my family needs a haircut.

9. This school year was amazing. Were my children perfect? No. Were they loved? Yes. Did they make good friends? Yes. Did Miss Brown and Mrs. Putnal set the bar high? YES!!! FPD was an answer to so many prayers.

10. I am pretty good at catching a Frisbee.

Ten on Tuesday

1. Jay plays in the championship game tonight for Mighty league. I am way nervous. He is not nervous at all. Go Angels!!! (I am sad baseball season is ending. This year was a lot of fun for me. I became a screaming mom.)

2. LOST is over. I really liked the end but I had to think about it for a while before I could say that. I think you had to really "get" the show to appreciate the ending. I felt the same way about Seinfeld. If you didn't "get" the show you didn't like the ending.

3. I love playlist. It really helps me clean the house. If you could peek in my windows you would laugh. Cleaning to playlist is as close to a "club" as I am going to get so I make the most of it.

4. Music moves me. Literally. I can't help it. When Clocks came out, I looked like a freak driving/dancing. Of course that is only one example of a song that made me look like a freak. There are soooo many. (Betsy also has this problem but I guess she has the "dancer" thing to blame it on.) Note: You know I am playing that song right now and dancing. Home, home, where I wanted to go.

5. I think I take in-town family for granted. When I meet someone who moved here and doesn't know anyone or has no family here I am taken aback. In Macon I have 2 parents, 2 in-laws, 3 grandparents, 3 aunts and 3 uncles, 1 cousin, a brother and sister-in-law, a nephew, and a niece. It's a family reunion every time we get together.

6. I just bought a bunch of fabric to make a quilt. Ask me at the end of the summer to show it to you.

7. Facebook can be too much sometimes. Right?

8. Packy makes me laugh. If you knew him he would make you laugh too. Are 3 year olds supposed to cross their eyes already? He makes people at Kroger laugh with his non-stop talking. Talking, talking, talking.

9. I hate the Fresh Beat Band. Those kids are tools.

10. When I let go of my agenda and follow God's will, life is calmer. I may not always know exactly what God's will is, but I sure know when I'm not in it.