Ten on Tuesday

I did not mean to publish last night.  Really you knew it wasn't going to be up on time didn't you?

 1.  I pick Packy up from Kindergarten at 12:30.  Everyday we have a discussion where I tell him he has to eat lunch if he wants a snack (meaning something sweet).  Everyday he cries (unless we go to Chick-fil-A) and tells me he doesn't want to eat.  Today he said, "Mama, I'm just not into eating."  I told him he didn't have to be into soccer or television shows, but food was not optional.  Some days I give up and just let him eat snacks.  On Columbus Day, I cleaned like crazy and let the kids fend for themselves.  Packy announced to his Dad at bedtime, "By the way Daddy, I didn't eat anything healthy all day."  Great.  Send my Mom of the Year award right over.  It's hard to have a child that doesn't want to eat.  Sometimes I plan to fail.  I cannot control what the church serves on Wednesday night and since Pac usually won't eat the hot meal or the kids option (peanut butter and jelly) (None of my kids eat PB&Js. ?$&!), I just know that on those nights he doesn't eat.  He eats a dessert and some lemonade.  It's just not a fight I'm going to have every week. 
2.  Let's talk commercials.  New Brad Pitt for Channel #5?  Super creepy. It doesn't make sense and it's just weird. (SNL already did a great job making fun of him.  And 7 million? Seriously?) Jimmy Dean commercials with The Sun?  Really makes me happy and has for a few years now (since 2006).  I really like that guy (and the clouds, moon, leprechaun). He's so nice.  T-Mobile girl on her motorcycle?  Hate.
3.  Guess what? I am typing this on a laptop.  I am close to becoming an actual blogger.  Now I just have to blog more than once every 3 weeks. (Thank you to R for "finding" an extra laptop at the office.  You are awesome!)
4. Speaking of the past few weeks, I'll catch you up.  I sold my camera, a lens, and a broken lens on Ebay and avoided being scammed by people who wanted me to send my camera to Africa before they paid for it.  (Really?)   I bought a new, simpler camera, and 2 new lenses.  Then left my camera bag and one of the lenses at a public park in Macon where we went to celebrate a family reunion.  It was found the next day and, thankfully, turned in to the people who run the park.  (So thankful for honest people.) I also sold Jay's bunk bed on Craigslist and he is now sleeping in a queen.  He is so happy to finally have a "big" bed and since he's 11 and very sensitive to textiles, I bought him some nice sheets.  Not anything crazy, but nice and not below 200 thread count scratchy. So throw in a business retreat for Jason, field trips, a wedding, a few birthday parties, Uncle Lee in town for a night, and all the regular school activities, and the past few weeks have flown by.  Fall is my favorite time of year, but it is busy.  Wonderful, but busy. (62 shopping days until Christmas in case you were wondering.)
5.  It's hard to learn from the experiences of others.  We have to sometimes learn from experiencing it ourselves.  
A man at our church said this a few weeks ago when we were studying 1 Kings on a Wednesday night.  We were discussing how the different kings kept repeating the mistakes of the past kings.  I really thought this was a good observation.  I can tell you my story and you can maybe identify with parts of it but you haven't experienced it.  You may have similar issues and I can help you by telling you what helped me, but I can't take away the part where you actually have to experience it.  Whatever "it" is.  If you are active in addiction then you probably aren't going to get sober because you know me.    You have to experience it yourself.  The entire process.  If you don't go through the process, and feel the pain, then the reward of sobriety isn't as sweet.  And to me, it is a reward.  (More on this later.)

6.  My parents have lost their dog.  He's been missing since Saturday night and they are really hurting.  "Tate" is the dog my mom gave my dad after he battled prostate cancer and she was in the Georgia State Senate (so she was in Atlanta during the session). Prostate=Tate...get it?  He is 14 years old and just wandered out of their backyard.  We are still holding out hope that Tate will return.  In the meantime we are just really sad.
7.  How about that Felix guy that jumped from space with a parachute?  That really made me sick to my stomach.  Someone would have had to push me out. I have absolutely no desire to hold any world records.  I set the bar low.  
8.  The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me, because the Lord has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from the darkness for the prisoners, to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn, and provide for those who grieve in Zion - to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of his splendor. Isaiah 61; 1-3
Karen Russell is the person I took my photography class from and she wrote the most beautiful post called  Ashes that you can read here.  I just think that this is the theme of the Christian walk; using what He has brought you through in order to help others.  I know he uses suffering us to draw us near to Him, but it doesn't end there.  It wasn't without purpose.  God gives us a story so we can share it with others and give people hope.  The hope that is found by trusting in Him alone. What story do you need to be sharing?
9.  Thank you to the people I've seen in the last few weeks that have told my you read this.  I do not have any high tech tracking devices and have no idea who reads this.  This is just a small way I feel like I am telling my story.  It helps me and if it helps you then great.  
10.  I have heard lots of sad stories of sickness, marriage problems, and addiction over the past few days.  Let's just say that my prayer life is in overdrive.  Realizing that I am powerless to heal and powerless to change a person's heart, prayer is all I have.  I am thankful to worship a living God that listens to my prayers.  He may not answer them the way I think is best, but I don't see the world like He does.  He has the big picture and I'm glad.  It would be way too much pressure if I actually had any kind of power.

Ten on Tuesday

1.  If you are trying to win the "Crazy Mom" award for the 5th grade at my school, give up now.  I'm a sure bet.  In the bag. I know I have 3 teachers on my side and one of them isn't even currently teaching my child.  This is a new award for me.  I have been the stressed out mom, but never the straight up crazy mom.  Let's just say 5th grade is kicking my butt, and I am not handling it well.  This is the first grade where we have really had to study and not just memorize.  We went from handouts on the Arctic to a full blown high-school looking text book in Social Studies, complete with tests that cover 4 or 5 chapters.  I'm a little stressed out.  In order to win this award, you must cry on a teacher's answering machine (seriously alarming her husband), text a teacher and tell her you can't call her because of your tears, have numerous, lengthy discussions with parents who had children in 5th grade last year and beg for guidance, and most importantly, cry, hand your husband the text book, and tap out.
2.  The ridiculous thing is that Jay is doing great.  He made a 93 on the test that I lost sleep over.  That's right, lost sleep over a 5th grade test.   Jason is again the voice of reason.  Reminding me that if Jay doesn't do well on a test it's a good learning process for him. (I should really start apologizing to Jay now for having him first.  That first child just doesn't stand a chance with a crazy mom.  My mom started apologizing when I was in my 20s.  I don't know if her mom has apologized to her.)  Jason is really good at calling me out on how I talk to the kids.  Not necessarily what I say, but the tone and demeanor I have when I say it.  Because of his tone, I can take it when he says, "If you look at him like he's an idiot (when we were studying), he's going to feel like an idiot."  He's right.  Ugh.  Parenting is so hard.
3.  I give up.  I am an organic/homemade snack fail.  (Fail is my kids new favorite expression.  "Mom you're a fail" is not what I want to hear. Ever.)  I tried.  I really did. I watched the movies and I read the books and I tried.   But it's hard and we are busy. (And expensive.  Organic milk is tough to buy at $6+ a gallon.) Now I have to send snacks for after school activities in addition to lunch a couple of times of week.  I'm going to be honest right now and tell you that I went to Sam's and bought a boatload of crap.  Individually packaged crap.  And I do feel a tiny bit guilty about it, but not really.  It's making my life easier to not have to be up at night making cookies or granola bars.  Now, I can enjoy baking when I want to.  And for the record, I make healthy dinners most nights and always a good breakfast for Jay. We drink mainly water.  My people eat a ton of broccoli, so don't be judging.

I know right?  Betsy said it was disgusting.  I told her to shut it.  She's so bossy.

4.  Are you already Christmas shopping?  I have not started, but did put the Christmas List app back on my phone.  This is a great app and helps me track of all of my gift giving and decorating expenditures. I really love this app.   (I just emailed my sister to tell her to call me.  I can't find my phone.)
5.  Just found a website called Wheresmycellphone.com.  Put in your number, they call you, and it's free.  My phone was under the couch.  (If I start getting spam calls, I'll let you know.)
6.  It's weeks like this that I look back and wonder what people might think if they are reading my blog for the first time.  If their impression is that I am a mess, then they are probably right.  Welcome to the birdhouse!
7.  Jason and I are missing our annual Return Visit at TRC (happening right now).   We are both really sad about it, but we just couldn't make it happen this year. Return Visit is for alumni of TRC, from 1974 to present.  Alumni can come to any of the six Return Visits that are put on throughout the year and they are so valuable to a person in recovery and their spouse/family.  You get to connect with people you went to treatment with, meet people that went before/after you, and basically recharge your recovery batteries with process groups and education classes. October has traditionally been the month we go, and it was really hard to tell the people we have gotten to know over the past few years that we weren't coming.  One of the most rewarding things about Return Visit is seeing families that you knew were so broken at one time and now, through recovery and God, they are strong again.  There is no greater joy than to see a family that was on the verge of destruction, back together in loving arms.  (If you are currently in a mess, don't give up hope.  I've seen God repair things that, by all worldly standards, looked impossible to fix.)

Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.

Ephesians 3:20-21

(Why do we try to put limitations on what God can do, when he can do more than we can even imagine?  Don't think your situation is too big or too messed up for our God.  He can handle it.)

8.  I don't have any new pictures because I sold my camera.  It was too much for me. I was intimidated and frustrated with it.  Too complicated and too heavy.  No one is paying me for pictures so I don't need a professional level camera.  I sold it on Ebay and hope to buy a simpler camera this week.  And maybe a laptop so I can become an actual blogger.  I am all about simple.   

This sweet puppy wants to be a Ninja this year.  

9.  Emory went to her first University of Georgia football game.  She left our house at 9 in the morning and did not get home until 11 something at night (I was asleep).  She was in heaven.  Tailgating, cheerleaders, and college life in general is right up her alley.  My friend, who took her, videoed her expression when she first came into the stadium and could see the field; priceless.  I just keep having to remind her that college is about 9 years away.  (9 years?  That sounds way to soon. I'm not really prepared for her to shave her legs.  I don't even know when she is supposed to start doing that.)  (I am on my knees for this one. )
10. I may or may not have eaten 20 caramels today.  It's fall and caramel goes perfect with the weather.