Ten on Tuesday

1. Tide Febreze is my new favorite laundry detergent.  I love how it smells.  I used to be a Gain person.  Sometimes I dry my clothes so many times that they smell burnt and not like detergent at all.  I can not stand to fold cold clothes.  When I am pregnant I am completely obsessed with smelling cleaning products.  I would stick my head in the Gain box and inhale as deep as I could.  I also ate soap bubbles and crunched on ice every waking hour. I am not the only one who has this pregnancy affliction.  Some people eat dirt.  It's called Pica disorder and it comes from an iron deficiency.  I don't know why I told you all that.  I don't foresee every being pregnant again but I do like the smell of clean laundry.
2.  I am currently addicted to Mason jars.  Aren't they awesome?  I have all different sizes, new and old.  They feel so solid and American.  Glass is so much more comforting than plastic.  And they are really cheap.  I am putting everything in them.  Leftover chocolate chips, jelly beans, taffy, lighting bugs, cotton balls, pens, and anything else I can find that will fit in them.  Little things make me happy.
3.  I am trying to love people. I am nice to people but I don't always love them.  This is something God has revealed to me during my Philippians study.  Paul really had a heart for God's people.  He took a genuine interest in their lives.  While I am not a mean person (my kids might say different), I don't think I love people like I should.  It's easy to love the people that are easy to love, but God wants more than that. So since God has put this on my heart I am putting it to prayer.  I can't just will myself to love people but God can change my attitude and heart towards them.  This is continuing the process of taking me out of the center and putting God in. 
4.  When you decide you want/need to get sober (or a group of people tell you to get sober or else), you will probably find yourself in a 12 step meeting.  There are 12 actual steps and they are in a certain order for a reason.  You are not expected to do all of the steps at once.  One step at a time, in order.  If anyone was told to do them all at once you would get overwhelmed and probably give up.   I think when you become a Christian, God doesn't reveal everything at once.  We couldn't handle it.  We couldn't deal with the weight of our sin or fully comprehend his love for us.  He asks us to come in faith and then he grows that faith.  We are continually being shown more ways we can serve him with our lives.  (See number 3.)
5.  I can not keep up with who need their fingernails or toenails cut in this house.  Packy's toenails were starting to curve over the end of his toes and Emory was working toward a Guinness Book record with her fingernails.  My personal assistant would be excellent at tasks like this.
6.  Seeing your bikini wax-er at the pool is like seeing your Ob Gyn at a party. It's just awkward.
7. Packy put himself to bed last night.  Turned on his sound machine, turned off the light, and got under the covers.  That has never happened with any of my other children. Ever. They don't mind going to bed but they require a full routine before actually doing it. Packy is OCD in other areas but going to bed is not one of them.
8.  I love Mondays.  Weekends are hard for me.  I feel myself wandering around and trying to figure out what I am supposed to be doing. On the weekdays, I know what's happening.  I have a routine and I stick to it.  Maybe I need a new weekend plan?  I also feel ready to go on Monday.  I get alot done and usually have lots of energy.  I don't know why it's different.  Maybe I rested on Sunday?  Just sayin' that I really like Mondays.
9.  Have you seen the honey badger video narrated by Randall?  Look on YouTube.  It does have some bad words so consider yourself warned.  If you don't think it's funny, your husband will.
10.  I survived the second golf tournament weekend in a row.  I would like a medal.  Jason won his flight (this means actual money, not Pro-Shop credit) and came in 6th overall.  This was a real tournament, meaning every shot counts.  He is so happy when he is playing good and that makes me happy.

Oh yeah.  I forgot to tell you that I have this little one (and the rest of her family) with me for the month starting this Friday.  I can not wait!

Ten on Tuesday

(Packy at the pool, talking.  Emory and Anna Kate at tennis camp.)

1.  It's here. That time is here. I have reached the point in the summer where I have lost all track of time.  I don't know what day it is much less the date.  I have no idea when I washed my hair last (surely for church?).  I have no idea when Packy last had a bath or when the big kids showered.  I have started to count the pool as showering.  A salt water pool counts for sure.  Salt=clean.  Everyone is staying up later to watch Wipe-Out and Minute to Win It.  (Jason swears he could win Minute to Win It and I believe him. He has lots of strange talents. [RIP Ryan Dunn who we just watched on this show Saturday night.]   I love Wipe-Out. Laugh out loud funny.)  So that's where we are.  By the way, I am still getting up early.  Remember...no quiet time, no serenity.

2.  For Father's day we made Angry Bird cupcakes.  I take no credit for being creative, just a good copier.  I found them here.  Jason thought they were funny, but declined to eat one.  Too much icing and he is more of a Cookies-N- Cream ice cream guy.  (Private Selection from Kroger makes an awesome Cookies and Cream with real Oreos. Thank you Katy for the tip.)

3.  I survived the Member/Guest golf tournament this weekend, and by weekend I mean Wednesday thru Saturday evening.  Sunday, was of course Father's Day and the last day of The U.S. Open where a Macon amateur was really putting his mark on golf so you know what that means.  I even attended the cocktail party with Jason on Friday night.  I haven't gone to this since I have been sober and swore I would never go, but it was actually nice. And yes, nice is the word I would use.  Nothing more, nothing less.  Left at 10. 

4.  I needed  the gym by Saturday was so happy to go.  Sweating is so good for me mentally and Crossfit is always ready to help me reach this goal.  Amazing how good exercise can make you feel, even when it hurts.

5.  I have to confess something to you.  I totally cracked out on sugar for a couple of days.  Total crack binge.  Started with the homemade Twix bars (which are too sweet even for me and yet I was still pounding them), and the best chocolate chip cookies  (according to the New York times) and some leftover cookie dough, and from there I said forget it (or something along those lines) and just went to town.  Sodas, cereal, candy, ice cream, caramel sauce on everything.  It was on.  Jason came home from some golf related event and wondered what happened (I left everything out on the counter).  When it extended in to the next day I knew I was in trouble.  I reached my bottom when I made some cake batter, knowing I was not going to make a cake. Scared of raw eggs you might ask?  Nope.  Been eating them for years.  After eating enough to realize I was in trouble, I stopped.  I went to the gym.  I have started to revere Howard (owner and trainer of North Macon Crossfit) as my healthy lifestyle priest, and I knew I needed confession.  After confessing my wayward couple of days, I vowed to return to healthy eating and proceeded to do 2 workouts.  He was happy to hear that I had not reached the point of microwaving butter, sugar, and flour together in a coffee mug, again. That is for sure the equivalent to crack in the sugar department; quick and easy. Today I am keeping it in balance.  A sweet treat? Of course, but not anymore crazy town days.  See my fridge note to myself? (Do you see my Mama Award from Pac?)

6. The other day we were in the car and Packy said, "Mama, sometimes I feel like we are in God's dollhouse and he is moving us all around."  I never know what they are thinking when we are riding around.

7.  My answer to problems used to be to throw money at them.  How many books can I buy? I have a library of parenting books. I need to change everything, but in order to do that I need to buy everything that the book says to buy.  If I read a blog where a mom had some creative way she bonded with her kids, then I would buy all of the things she had, but usually never got to the bonding part.  Money doesn't solve problems.  I am starting to learn that prayer does.  When I pray about the problem, it makes me slow down and really think through it.  I can then listen for God's answer and feel peace about it.  A book does not give you peace.  Sometimes the answer might involve spending money in some way, and that's OK.  I just have to keep asking myself, Do I come to God first with the problem and wait for his answer or do I seek Him last after I have exhausted my other resources?

8.  See Packy's pictures at the top?  He DOES NOT STOP TALKING.  Ever.

9.  I just finished day 2 of Vacation Bible School.  Whoa.  It has been years since I volunteered to teach at VBS.  (I'm not really sure I volunteered this time?!?)  I don't know why, but it is draining.  My class is ages 2 thru 4 and we have them from 8:45-12:15. Our church has a weekly memory verse and I wonder if it was a coincidence that this week's verse is:

But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. 2 Corinthians 12:9

I think Pastor Hunter knew there would be some weak ladies at the church this week, needing Christ's power.

10.  I am totally in love with the God Centered Mom blog. This is how the author Heather describes being a God Centered Mom:

What is a God centered mom?

The center of pride is service to self. To live humbly God must be the center. The goal of this site is to encourage moms to exchange self-centeredness with God-centeredness. Motherhood is hard and it feels like we are always giving and doing for others. However, if we give of ourselves and still expect to be the center the result is constant humiliation and frustration. Instead, if we chose to daily clothe ourselves in humility, by placing God in the center, we are free to serve our families with joy and bring God glory.

Her blog really speaks to me.  When I first entered recovery, I was told that the root of my troubles was selfishness and self-centeredness. In order to remain sober, I was going to have to become humble.  Her entire blog is about living humbly with God in the center.

These posts are my favorites to date:

Servant of God:Alternative to People Pleaser 

Hear the Whisper Wednesday (I totally had the whip and now hope to listen to the whisper.)

and my favorite I have a disease.

Ten on Tuesday

1.  My goal for the summer is to wear the kids out as much as possible.  Since it has been 99 degrees everyday since school let out, that means to the pool we go.  Things are just better at the pool.  They are exercising without knowing it and will do it for hours.  My people tend to not be shy at the pool and are happy to hook up with a new friend for the day.  Packy is swimming great and will jump off the side and swim over to the steps about a hundred times.  He is the only one who still wants me to get in the pool so he can swim to me.  He will swim to me and back to the side about a hundred times.  See why we are worn out at the end of the day? 
2.  I have been thinking about contentment lately.  Talked about it with a few people. Paul says in Philippians 4:11, " I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances." I love that he learned to be content.  It's a process.  We  aren't automatically content.  I have had the wants for most of my life.  Shoes, cars, jewelry, clothes, and whatever else I came across,  I wanted.  Today I am grateful for what I have and most of the time, content.  Practically this is what I have learned.  If I don't see it, I don't want it.  How many times have you walked in to a store to buy something you need and then see something you didn't know you needed, but now you have to have it?  I don't go to stores very often.  Even if it's an awesome sale.  I also get absolutely no catalogs (or magazines that are really catalogs) in the mail.  I have found that my kid's clothes are fine until I look at the Mini Boden catalog at my mom's house and then I feel like everyone needs new clothes. I don't look at the pictures of a store's new inventory on Facebook or get sale alerts on my email.  If I need some new shoes, I know Ashley will have some at Head over Heels, but I don't need them just because she got some super cute new ones in today. Out of sight, out of my wanting mind. 
3.  This helps me to appreciate what God has blessed me with.  I might have an old van with a wonky window but it gets me where I need to go.  I am a bad driver and run in to things so I don't think a newer car would even be a good idea for me at this point.  I try not to have an "I deserve" attitude because I don't deserve anything.  Everything I have was given to me by my heavenly Father and I want to be appreciative for each blessing.  If I got what I deserve, I would be living in the gutter, if living at all.  I think He wants me to be content, because it shows Him that He is enough.  I don't want Him plus all of the Earthly things He can pile in to my garage.  Just Him.  He is enough for me today.
4.  Don't get me wrong.  I like the things He has blessed me with.  I just have to keep learning to be content, whatever the circumstances.
5.  Packy went to a birthday party today for one his very good friends.  They had a blow up waterslide.  I think he went down the slide no less than 100 times over 2 hours. I am not kidding.  He did take a break for cake and ice cream but that was it.  He did not stop until his lips turned blue, not from cake.  Wear them out.  Every day of summer vacation.  Thank you Spencer!

6.  I did not start eating eggs until a few weeks ago.  When I was young my mom would try to make me eat them and I would refuse.  One day I was sitting at the table, after everyone else had long finished eating and I was still holding out on my eggs, when my grandfather came over.  I told him I did not want to eat my eggs and he said, "Why don't you want to eat them? They are only scrambled birds." That was it.  I was grossed out and did not revisit eggs until I was 37.  I told my best friend what my grandfather told me and she still does not eat eggs to this day.

7.  Egg muffins are the new breakfast stars at our house.  There are a ton of recipes but I like to make them  with whatever I have in the fridge.  I whisk together some eggs, grease my muffin pan, put whatever leftover veggies, sausage, and cheese I have in the muffin holes, pour the eggs on top and then bake for 15 minutes.  This helps save time in the morning and I can make different varieties for each person who eats eggs in our house. 

8.  Now that I have a DVR and a new TV, I swear I watch less television.  The only thing I care about watching is So You Think You Can Dance? because I do think I can dance.  It may not be good enough for Nigel,  but it makes me happy to shake around the house.  I really like Kat Deely.  She's so tall. 

9.  Packy and his dad have a tradition of going to the dunk (dump) on Saturday.  This past week they had to go because we had a lot of poison naughty (Ivy) that they had to get rid of.  I have to threaten Emory if she corrects his speech.  Don't teach him the right way to say it!  Let my baby stay a baby as long as he can.  And if that is wrong, I don't care. 

10.  Emory tries to say that she doesn't like for me to take her picture, but I know that she does. 

*Love this article about Living a Good Story in the Chaos.

*And this one about Becoming a Better Mother.

*And this one on Gratitude:the alternative to grumbling.

Ten on Tuesday

 1.  Just got back from Chick-fil-A...in our pajamas.  They had a "breakfast at night" special and offered the breakfast menu from 5-8pm.  The best part was that it was free if you were in your pajamas. I am cheap, not easily embarrassed, and had nothing to eat, so we went.  Jay sleeps in his underwear so he was in a bit of a quandary about what to wear.  I told him to just wear my robe.  He was OK with that but very concerned that it would come open.  He thought I meant just wear your underwear with the robe over it. No dear.  You can wear your clothes underneath. There were a few people pushing the limit of appropriate pajamas in public.  I had to say REALLY? to myself a few times. (That is one of my favorite phrases and I love that Seth Myers made it a part of the SNL News.)

2.  I have decided that if I think someone doesn't have any problems, then I don't know them very well.  Everyone has something in their life that they are dealing with. Marriage, kids, extended family, food addiction, drug addiction, disease, pain, worry, guilt, anxiety, and on and on and on. If they have absolutely no problems, then they are ignoring something.  God is always bringing us through something.  I have found that people I perceived as "having it all" just didn't know me well enough to share their struggles.  I no longer think anyone is just floating through life.
3.  Jay is in golf camp this week.  Emory is in softball camp this week.  Jay's camp ends at 1 and Emory's camp starts at 1, and they are 20 minutes away from each other.  Do you think this caused me a scheduling headache?  Do you think I tried to find a carpool?  Nope.  I just knew that it would work out.  Someone commented to me that when you have 3 (or more) kids you just don't worry about it.  So, I told Jay (and his coach) that I would be late every day and that he could just stay at the pool until I got there.  No problem.

4.  I felt like we slipped in to our Anne Rivers Siddons summer early this year. This happens when I feel like my life is being lived as if it was written in a book.  Last night I was reading a book (The Other Boleyn Girl) on the back porch chaise, the kids were playing catch with Jason in the yard, and we heard the sound of an ice cream truck.  The kids didn't know what to do.  I told them to run to the front yard and flag it down.  It was not the ice cream truck I remember chasing.  It was more of an ice cream conversion van, but it was clean and the people were very nice.  Watching my kids buy their very first ice cream from a truck took me back to my childhood and the 80's.  I LOVED the ice cream truck.  I loved summer. I still love summer.  Even really hot Macon summers.

5.  If someone handed you a list of all of your Facebook statuses for the past year, what would it say about you?  Just something to think about.
6.  We are reading A Praying Life by Paul Miller at our church this summer.  It is amazing.  He talks about journaling your prayers.  I have done this for a long time, and the other day I was reading my prayer journal from a year or so ago.  I was amazed at so many answered prayers.  So much progress for Jay. (The fact that he is going to golf camp and actually enjoying himself is big and shows lots of progress.)  I think if I didn't write them out I wouldn't appreciate all that God has done for me.  I forget about the small things I pray about.  I might not even realize God has answered a prayer until I go back and read it.  I use plain spiral notebooks.  No fancy journal.  That is just too much pressure for me to make it perfect. It's just a pen and plain paper, me and my God.
7.  The day I change sheets is the night Packy pees through his pull up.  (Yes, he still wears a pull up at night.  He is a drinker, not an eater, and I hate to change sheets.)  The morning Jason and I try to get up extra early is the morning we find 1,000 ants in our kitchen.  Just have to laugh right?

8.  Pinterest makes me so hungry.  Last week it was the Samoas.  This week...homemade Twix bars.  I don't see why not.  When I was in New York for Lolly's birth,  I somehow switched on my caramel button and I am finding it hard to turn off (thanks a lot Trader Joe's delicious caramel!).  (Since I am on a Paleo eating plan, this is only a cheat every now and then.  It's not the free for all, eat butter and brown sugar for lunch that I used to exist on.  I even feel sick if I eat cereal for dinner.  Who knew that my body would really enjoy me giving it good whole food?)

9.  I have eaten more fruit in the last two weeks than I probably have in a year.  No refined sugar makes me crave fruit and it is so good right now.  I think I could live off of watermelon and pineapple.  And apples.  And grapefruit.  And blackberries from Deer Creek Farms.  Yummy. Feels like summer.

10.  This is the face of the little one who was up and dressed at 6:45 on Saturday morning because Saturday is his favorite day.  He is also making this face because he was beating me at checkers due to all of the "jumping" rules that he made up as we went along.  He does not stop talking until he goes to sleep.  At church on Wednesday night, we played Pictionary, boys against the girls.  We alternated between an adult and a kid each round.  Packy wanted to draw so badly so I told Jason to let him (he thought he was too little) and help him draw the picture.  Jason went up to the board and Packy drew his card.  Jason told him what it said and he said, "Daddy, that's an easy one."  He went and got his marker and drew the sweetest little cross on the board and some guessed it immediately.  The joy on that little face was enough to bring his mom to tears.  Enjoy every moment.

Ten on Tuesday (Holiday Style)

You know how if there is a holiday on Monday, your trash pick up is pushed back a day?  I follow that procedure.

1.  First day of school, last day of school pictures are my favorite. I always have a BIG sticky note to remind myself.  What a year.  Notice the new picture spot?

 2.  Summer is off and running.  I made a poster of all the things we wanted to do this summer and we have started crossing things off the list.  The New York people flew in for the weekend and we had a family gathering to celebrate my Nana's 90th birthday.  All of my cousins (except one, who just moved to Chicago, and whose wife gave birth less than 48 hours after the party) came with their families.  My dad's cousin and his family flew in from DC to be the surprise guests.  I love spending time with family.  Catching up and getting to know each other's kids is so fun.  After lunch we had some sharing time and everyone sat in the family room and talked about Nana.  It was fun to see the kids really listen and be entertained with stories about their great-grandmother.

3.  Don't you love how the pool makes the kids so tired?  Mine are asleep as soon as their heads hit the pillow.

4.  Jason and I have still been getting up in the morning at our regular time.  I am hoping to keep this up because it really helps me to stay on my schedule.  If the kids want to sleep late that's fine (as long as they get up in time to get to the gym) but I need to have my quiet time before they get up and the day gets going.  I don't think there is a realistic way to "schedule" the summer.  I love letting the kids stay up and not feel chained to a bedtime like I do during the school year.  I also love spontaneity.  Yesterday I was dropping Jay off at a friend's house and got to steal an hour to catch up with my friend, despite the groceries roasting in my car.  The point is, if I still get up early then I still make my time with the Lord a priority and I am not trying to fit in in during my day.

5.  These two had the best time together.  She loves her Packy and only attacks him if it is necessary.  This trip he remained scar free.

6.  Jason and I have started a Paleo diet. Let me just say that I am not trying to lose weight but make better choices in my food intake.  I was up to cereal for two meals a day and if it was a cookie making day then I probably ate a cup of butter.  Being on this has forced me to actually eat and think about what I am putting in my body.  I also wanted to see if I could actually get off of sugar and I did for about 5 days.  I did eat cake at the birthday party and I did make cookies yesterday.  The point is to make better choices.

7.  I made homemade samoas.  You know, the girl scout cookies?  They were labor intensive. All day.  But they were good.  Super sweet.

8.  We had a cookout last night.  I figured since we worked so hard to get the house ready for the birthday party (thanks Mom, Dad the window cleaner, and Jason), that we should keep enjoying it.  We got a new grill and invited some friends over for burgers.  This is what summer is all about to me.  Being with friends.  Kids running around.  Good food.  And there is nothing better than ending the night with kids catching fireflies.

9.  Sometimes I can get disconnected during the summer.  I am not running into my friends organically since everyone is on a different summer schedule.  I need people so I have to be intentional about connecting.  Make the effort to see people.  Pick up the phone if the kids are occupied.  Invite people to my home.  This comes naturally to some people, but not me.  I could isolate, but then I get lonely and anxious.  Be proactive in your relationships.

10. I am a bad sunscreen applier.  To me and my kids.  I always have crazy burns where I don't pay attention. I haphazardly apply and then forget to re-apply.  If you happen to send your kid to the pool with me remind me to take my time. I would hate to burn your kid.